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I’ve been feeling bad for not being able to see my Son last Saturday. I wonder if he was looking out the window for me to come? Was he mad at me? Did she tell him to wait for me knowing that I was not coming? I have to wait until my next visit to try to explain it to him. I will tell him that I wanted to pick him up so much but was not allowed to. I hope things get worked out soon. I hate things the way they are right now. It all hurts him the most. I know that, but I do not think my ex does yet…tom g

15 Replies to “SAD:(”


  2. See if you can call him and talk to him. More than likely, he is feeling sad as well. Do it under your lawyer’s guidance so you don’t end up with more trouble from your ex, but it sounds like you both could use a contact. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers as well as the ex figruing out what is good for this precious little boy.Janice

  3. Thought you might find this interesting ~~"Disposable Dads Day"by Raymond Hughes "Disposable Dads Day" by Raymond Hughes Originally published Father’s Day, 1995 in the News Leader, Claremont, NH ——————————————————————————–What do you say we thumb through some statistics for Father’s Day? Here’s a good one–twenty-five million children in the U.S. (40%) living without fathers. What’s shocking about that, given all the hype about deadbeat dads? Except, those 25,000,000 children weren’t exactly abandoned by their fathers since over 80% of the divorces are filed by women, who get custody 90% of the time. Or the fact that fathers pay child support in full 90% of the time when both parents are awarded joint custody. Modify that to visitation "privileges," and the rate drops to 78%. Take away all fatherly contact and that’s when the deadbeat dads show up–only 40% pay support. Gee, how surprising, take a guy’s kids completely away and he stops paying for them. Further inflating deadbeat dad statistics are things like the fact many of them actually are dead, others have moved back in but the files haven’t been upgraded, not to mention about 690,000 of the 1.2 million-plus prisoners in this country are fathers. But, male bashing in the media is such popular sport, dads as a whole are routinely maligned. We’ve just lived through the worst of what I call the "Disposable Dad" decade, just now abating. A telling interview was that of Princeton researcher Sarah McClanahan on Peter Jennings recently. In 1980 she began research to prove women could single parent without fathers–you know, the Murphy Brown myth. After a decade’s research, she was forced to rewrite her thesis statement and admit that parenting without fathers is on par with child abuse. The most insulting thing is that anyone ever assumed you could do it without fathers. The reality is that 70% of American prisoners grew up without fathers, and teen pregnancies are over double in fatherless families. A host of other social ills follow suit. But, when the current socio-legal mind set is to throw the bum out if he isn’t a perfect guy, it’s no wonder so many aren’t home. I wrote a tongue-in-cheek column not long ago about spousal abuse. The serious joke is that advocates actually believe it’s abusive if a man yells, or is emotionally abusive if he withholds affection, and that these things are grounds for battering charges. These same advocates mislead the public into thinking domestic violence is a male trait, never mentioning studies like that by the Journal of Marriage and Family which found 1.8 million women annually, but 2 million men annually are subject to one or more assaults from their spouse or live in. Or the Children’s Rights Coalition survey of state child-protective service agencies which found that mothers abuse children at a rate almost double men. Or a widely-quoted study by UNH researcher Murray Straus that concludes women are more likely to be initiators of violence. Yet, it is women who can almost get a restraining order over the phone, then fathers who are sentenced without a trial to the gutter. In Claremont, if a woman gets a restraining order, and according to one local lawyer, "they give them out like candy," the man is simply presumed guilty, given about 15 minutes to get his personal belongings and left out on the street. And, if he violates that restraining order, say, by going to see his children, he could be thrown in jail. New Hampshire’s most famous "batterer," Stephen Sarno, who hit his wife when he caught her in bed with another man, got 90 days in jail six months later for writing her three letters–three letters she said he could write, then turned him in for violating the restraining order. In the letters, by the way, Steve is merely asking his wife to bury the hatchet enough to work out what is best for the children. of course, Stephen is up against the same unit millions of other fathers are up against, and what father’s rights advocates call "malcontent moms." These are mothers who routinely interfere with whatever meager visitation the father gets. Mothers who routinely falsely accuse fathers of stalking, sexual assault, abuse, non-payment of support. Between 1989 and 1991 false accusations of child molestations against fathers rose almost 500%. A previous study found that up to 90% of all child molestation accusations against fathers were unfounded. There is almost never a penalty for false accusations. Is it any wonder many dads simply drop out? And, if the father does get the children, he’ll probably get no support. According to the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services, of 2,000,000 custodial fathers in the country caring for 3,000,000 children, and 488,000 rearing children born out of wedlock, only 80,000 receive any child support at all. That’s about three percent. So, when you read that Gordon and Marcia Clark are having custody problems, remember, it’s not Gordon the deadbeat dad who didn’t want the children, but Marcia the malcontent mom who didn’t want him to have them. Though he had time and desire, she wanted him to pay a babysitter. Next time you hear about deadbeat dads, come down to Monadnock Park and meet some dads who live the fact that they can’t work on their kid’s skills at home because they don’t live in that home with their kids. Somehow, the state and media got together and decided the only thing dads were good or was support money, and they buried the real story–fathers systematically denied access to their own flesh and blood. -Raymond Hughes (RR 2 Box 475, Claremont, NH 03743 ~♥~Michele~♥~

  4. I feel so bad for you!!! Did you do any of this she said. Or she actually make things up to harrass you? I find it possible, but also hard at the same time to make out. Usually there is something there that happened and then there’s reaction. But then if you did nothing, why does she hate you so much? Is she mental? Why do the courts allow her to have your Son and not you? You guys have to goto court soon to get it worked out that the cops can’t enterfear with you calling for your Son and someone needs to keep your ex off the phone while this goes on, like a 3rd party be the go between with ya’ll. Something. This is rediculious! An outrage! Are you going to be able to get your Son back at all you think? Why is it taking so long?Sorry to ask you all this, but I figure if I am to understand as a johnny come lately, I had to ask. You don’t have to answer, but I will wounder, cause something just aint right here.Tammy

  5. Sure you can add my comment to your enty =) thanks for asking….. I really hope things get better for you.It breaks my heart that there are biomom’s out there that are so vindictive. I would never do the things your ex & my husbands ex does. My ex and I put our daughter first.~♥~Michele~~

  6. well, buddy, If I were you, I wouldn’t keep it going this way… I know, you didn’t want to neither… on the other hand, I don’t think there are some things you can do with this cruel fact… ps: this is so against human rights…"America is a country with human rights". I often can hear people say this… why does this so "human rights" country still have this kind of "inhuman things" going on??!!!

  7. Isn’t there someone who can run interference for you, a case worker or someone who can contact your son and let him know you have not forgotten him and are doing everything you can to see him on a regular basis?Thinking of you,Sabine

  8. hey please think about those links you asked to put up!!! It could give the wrong people the wrong ideas. You know about the copy cat killers? I am asking you to seriously think about those stories.

  9. Tom, The link she was talking about was my comment…But if you check out this site you will find a lot of useful information. you go under Articles ArchiveThere is a ton of helpful information about how to protect yourself against false Allegations and more.~♥~Michele~♥~

  10. Thank You for taking the time to comment on my blog..that was very kind of you! I am sorry you miss your so so much…i do understand how that can be so painful..take care you sound like a great person!

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