Response

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You speak a lot to your X, and very little about your child. That says it all!!!!! 6/18/2005 8:20 PM   

Published by: Kim

 

This My Son is why I started this blog. I have talked about him a lot. Take the time to read before you judge me. I do respect your opinion Kim. Too bad you did not leave a way to respond in private.

22 Replies to “Response”

  1. hello , I am Jason from China , I just have a chance to see your Blog , but my english is not very well , I can understand that you are a good father from your website ,I like the child to much ,but I am not a father yet ….. , so you are very fortunate than me . good luck to you , and enjoy your life every day as Jack said from TITANIC Best regards !Email & MSN Jason_qxx@hotmail.com

  2. From one divorcee to another..Dude, dont worry about it…I believe starting this blog was for healing..i think you’re on the right track..but of course,LOL, my comments dont really matter..LOL..Well wishes to you and your incredible son..( I have 2..10 and 9) Maj.

  3. I just have to say that in reading about you and your thoughts, it seems to me that you want to blame alot of people for your problems. I dont know your Whole story but what I have read is that you did have problems in your past that have gotten you where you are today. As far as a suspened license, divorce and not giving yourself enough credit for just being a kid without a father. You got a ticket for something you oviously did wrong or that wouldn’t of happened correct? You seem to want to make yourself out like the good guy and that must be how you feel. But you need to take a look at what has and is really happening in your life. I can understand that some times things just happen and you move foward but you seem to create more problems. Now I dont know you all I know is by what you write and to me you still have alot of learning to take responsiblity for your own actions.I understand you love your son with all of your heart and nobody can ever take that away, but if you are obsessing over him and letting that control your life you really need to stop and think how that will hurt him in the long run. Your son will love you as long as you are in his life and dont poison his mind with what you think about other people (meaning your ex). They say I tend to candy coat things, but I do speak truthfully.There is a time in your life that you can put the blame on your parents but when you have your own life and family you have to take responsibilty for your own actions. Blak

  4. Hello, I was just browsing my msn home page and saw your blog. I really enjoyed your pictures and I hope your doing well. I have 3 children.. 2 girls and 1 boy. My girls are 7 mths and 6 days apart.. (yes that really is possible.. yes I gave birth to both..lol… hmmm maybe I should start a space with that in mind..lol). Anywho, thanks so much for sharing your pictures, your life and the other sites that I will be sure to look at off and on each day. Lots of love and luck for you and your son.Deanna

  5. TomWe both live in New Castle, DE but I was born and brought up overseas – a very different upbringing from what I see around me so often over here. Hard for me to understand why so often this whole going to court thing seems to be the only way to be able to be a part of your child’s life! Of course the original idea was to protect the child’s interests but as you say, what about the child’s emotional wellbeing – being torn between two feuding parents. The child sees, knows and grieves for the "lost" parent. Seems to me the ‘"grown-ups" are in denial – or too blinkered to see beyond thier own revenge-fueled actions. I hope common sense will prevail and Logan will be the winner in the end.As for you, Tom, you have a lot on your plate and maybe this blog will help you see that you need to finish what you started and keep moving forward. Not just for Logan but for you, too. All the obstacles you face now are tiny speedbumps on your smooth and straight road ahead.

  6. You have the right to heal however the hell you like sir! KIM is obviously one of "those" ex wives. Ignore her and her rude superficial comment. I happen to enjoy a very good relationship with my daughters (7) father. Hey, we didnt make it together but why torture the child? This blog is all about YOU…healing…support…coping….God bless you sir.

  7. Just wanted to say, I hope things work out for the best for you ! Life deals every one a bad hand every once in a while, but you learn from things like this. Smile life goes on, things will get better. Wish you the best of luck!

  8. Haha, you have got another visitor from China!Don’t worry about what others say about you, you are what you are! Enjoy your happy Father’s Day!

  9. Perhaps Kim should have read farther down – this was part of your healing/coping process. Somedays it’s all about the x, but ultimately it will always be about the child. Divorce is never easy, but how you handle it, and the afterwards – will forever reflect in your child.

  10. enjoy him evey day.Take lots of pictures,kids love to look at themselves when they get older.And put the picture in an album, not just on the computer or in a video, kids love to pull out the album and show it to all of his frinds and family.Pick your battles,long hair is only long hair,made beds are not as important as reading, or watching him grow, the bed can wait until he is eating,or you can do it together.And don’t sweat the small stuff

  11. Hello…nice site. Your son is beautiful. Sounds like you have had a little bit of drama with your blogs. Just remember, everyone has opinions. Don’t let what anyone says get you too down. Happy Father’s Day.

  12. Just wanted to let you know that it is nice to see a father that cares so much for his son. There are many children who do not have a father in their lives. Your son is blessed.Opposing points of view are what they are points of view.. Like it says it is your space to do with what you want and to help you express yourself.

  13. Tom, I think you should keep writing and let it help you heal and get through all of the tough times. Don’t pay any mind to people that say anything negative to you. Keep focused on yourself and your son. He’s adorable by the way! I was checking my email and it being father’s day tomorrow I saw your blog. I lost my uncle a year ago (he raised me) and now is a tough time. He was an incredible man. He loved his family. He and my aunt were married for over 65 years. They were like grandparents, parents and their official aunt and uncle titles all rolled into one sweet package. They stayed together but now that i am older, I know people make it work even when they separate too. Keep the faith. Like the poem, don’t like that Kim ignore her and spelling schmelling who cares! Have a great father’s day!

  14. God bless you. My heart goes out to you and what you are experiencing. I have two beautiful granddaughters whose fathers want nothing to do with them and this is difficult for them, especially the oldest child. Your son is a very blessed child.I do not know whether you believe in God, or if you do, if you practice your faith. I can only speak from my own personal belief and experience when I tell you that God is very aware of what you are going through. It is difficult sometimes to understand why we have to go through things that we do, but it is through the trials in our lives that we learn to trust and have faith in God. Sometimes it is hard to watch those who lie and cheat prosper, but their "good fortune" is fleeting and what we gain through God, lasts a lifetime. Through our learning process, God builds character in usThe following comes from a tract that I hand out and I hope that you will read it and take it to heart.He Shall Hear My Voice Words spoken in prayer rise on the wings of faith and enter safely into the throne room of grace. The Father not only hears each word, He also recognizes each voice as a father discerns the sound of his child’s call for help. Your voice is precious to Him, and prayer opens the door for Him to speak to your heart with peace, comfort, and love.************"Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and He shall hear my voice." Psalm 55:17************ Do not give up. Persevere, knowing your voice is heard. Do not be disheartened because it seems that nothing is changing. God works on our behalf and while it may not seem that anything is happening, remember that we can not always see God’s hand in everything that goes on in our lives, but ultimately, if we trust and have faith, undying faith, His plan for our lives unfolds. If I have offended you in any way, I do apologize, for that was not my intention. I do not apologize for my beliefs, but please know that I will be praying for you and your family…that all that happens will be for the good of your child because ultimately, he is all that matters. I pray that you have a great Father’s Day because you deserve it. I will be praying that you get to spend time with your son tomorrow. Again, God bless and Happy Father’s Day.Humbly,Susan

  15. Dear Tom, Wow, I was dinking around on the net and found your blog, and have spent the last several hours reading back. I feel your blog is a wonderful idea, especially for expressing your thoughts and unsaid words for your ex…I am a single parent, and could only wish my ex was as concerned about my daughter, instead of what his latest wife ( yes i mean latest…i was his third ex wife…he’s now married to his 4th wife…for now..) will say about him trying to spend time with his ONLY daughter. I wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.best wishes, amber

  16. Kim, I am a single father also, since the day my daughter was born. You have some anger/baggage that needs to be taken care of somewhere else. You arent welcome in this part of town.Mike

  17. One thing I have noticed is that people are real educated when it comes to judging, but not educated when it concerns respect. I have been a single father for about five years now and we are under a lot of scrutiny. There are those out there that don’t think we can raise children as well as women. I am by no means trying to say that we are better parents but there are many men that are just as good and deserve equality when it comes to custody. My children are alive and striving! They are excellent students, very respectful, and very caring individuals. Good Luck with all (and any advice on all the options that "My Space" has to offer would be appreciated as I have just started myself!).Larry

  18. Tom, I was so touched by your blog. No matter what negative comments you get, I hope you never let them get to you. When I read about how you walked to the SSI office and other things – oh my, how it brought back memories! I, too, was a single parent for many years and did some of those very same things. I didn’t have a car because I couldn’t afford one and I took many bus rides and walked with my little girl (whose father wanted nothing to do with us) to the gov’t offices to be able to get support so we could survive. I was not raised in church or anything like that-but one day out of pure loneliness I decided to take up someone’s offer to go to church on Sundays. Someone told me I needed to ask Jesus in to my heart and my life from that point on changed FOREVER. I didn’t do anything but out of pure loneliness began talking to God. WOW!!!!! I found out that there is a God and His Son Jesus, and He is real.God answered my prayers, all of them-every single one all the time. I just started talking to Him and letting Him be my company in my lonely apartment. He responded. He gave me everything I needed and more-He bust my life wide open and poured out heaven on earth for me. Among other awesome, awesome things-just one thing He did for me is had someone GIVE me, (yes I said give) a car.I hope you find the same God I did and may He bless you tremendously for being such a loving father-‘cuz you know what? He’s a Loving Father too and has the same heart for you as you do for Logan. Sincerely,JK

  19. Wow! I wonder if that "Kim" was my ex’s new wife? Sure did sound like her. I am a mother (and father if you want to get technical) to 3 wonderful special needs children – J (almost 15) has bipolar disorder, K (6) has bipolar disorder & J (5) has Down Syndrome. I talk a lot via email to my ex about the children and when he emails back, he discusses his everyday life with me. His new wife is upset by this – I tell him to talk to her, but I guess he’s more comfortable with me. Was that you Kim? Anyway, I have great respect for you staying so involved in your son’s life – my ex moved away and visits them for maybe 6 hours once a year. Stay involved and love your son!!!! And Take Care Of You Too!!!!Lisa

  20. In response to Blakwidowsweb-I would just like to point out that everyone makes mistakes. My stepfather had his license revoked at the time he married my mom. he had a substance abuse problem. He had anger management issues too. but you know what? he turned his life around because of my mom and all of us. the T-man acknowledges his mistakes. It seems to me that he’s turning his life around. It’s a long process. It takes time. I hope that everyone knows that.Another thing: my parents are divorced. My dad is divorced TWICE. that’s right, he "messed up" as blak would say, not once but TWICE. My dad isn’t a bad person. I know a lot of kids whose parents are divorced. Just because two people can’t make a marriage work, it doesn’t make them "bad people" or "problematic," it just means it wasn’t meant to be. Besides, marriage is a "two-way street." Both parents share the blame. And I blame the system just as Tom does. In general, the system favors the mothers. I only know of two cases where the father has been able to have primary custody of his children. I know of only 3 cases where the father has been able to maintain the home. I also know that in my family’s case, my dad had to give up on trying to get primary custody of us because there was no way the courts would let him have us more than 2 weekends a month, just because he is a guy.And as far as children are concerned, I don’t know any "good/involved" parent who ISN’T obessesed with their children. Something that needs to be acknowledged here: as the oldest of 8 children ranging in ages from 18 to 4, children DO control your life! They are needy, they are dependent, they have things required of them (like school), and things they want to do (like go to the park). I know for a fact that the three youngest kids in my family rule the roost (they are 12, 7, and 4). If any of those three are unhappy, we’re ALL unhappy. I personally think Tom is doing a GREAT job, and I know from personal experience that lives take bad routes, but they can get turned around. I have to say again that children run a parent’s life. That’s part of being a parent!I don’t think Tom is placing blame on anyone, well, he isn’t placing the blame on the wrong people.I respect your opinion Blak, but I also respectfully disagree because of my own personal experiences. Keep the peace T-mankaleigh

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