Even though I sadly couldn’t visit w/ my Son, I spent the day over my Sister’s house. My sis asked if I could watch their 11 yo daughter because she & her husb. had to work. They had no one to watch her and really nne the extra hours. I’ve done it before & never mind doing it for them since they do so much for me. We have fun drawing, playing chess or shooting hoops outside. I showed her this "space" and read some entries & looked at the pics. She seem to think it was pretty cool espc. the diff. backgrnds. & the way u can move stuff around. It was the actual writiing stuff that did not interest her too much. I told her she could write about school, how hard a test was, what she ate 4 lunch, a joke she heard, something funny her friend said about the teacher & stuff like that. Put pics of her friends and tell them to "visit" her space to "check in"(leave comment) She thought it was neat but it might be more interesting to her next year, no rush.
I’m not a chess nut or pro, but I do know how to play. I think I learn more about kids by theaching them how the peices move, the rules, how to "plan" a few moves ahead & all else that goes w/ it. It never ceases to amaze me how there sneaky minds can be some times. My Son got me in some hairy spots in a few games. I can usuall see what his tring to do but if its a good plan i’ll usually let it go his way so he can win. It wont be too long before he can beat me at chess & will have to let me win a few.
got to go for now!…tg/logansdady
12 Replies to “My Sat.”
Hi Thomas, It is really interesting that you happened to tell me that you were raised by nuns. My best friend is moving in to a convent in September because she is going to become one. I have to say it is a life that I could never lead myself but I have huge amounts of respect for people who can. My best friend just so happenes to be one of them. Im sorry to see that you couldnt see your son this weekend. If you dont mind my asking, why is it that you are only allowed to see him every Sat for only four hours. I guess it just seems a little unfair. My parents are divorced and we lived with my Dad and saw my Mom every other weekend and alternated hollidays. I hope you get to see him soon. I could not imagine being told when I could or could not see Thomas, and I cant imagine how hard that must be for you. I need to get some things done around the house, so I am going to go. I hope to hear from you again soon.
WOW THIS ONE REALLY STRUCK HOME WITH ME JUST HANG IN THERE MY SON IS NOW 22 AND NOW AFTER NOT BEING ABLE TO BE MUCH A APART OF HIS LIFE TILLHE WAS 18 AN D I DID NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE EX JUST TO TALK WE ARE FINALY HAVE ING A DILOGE BUT NOT SURE WE WILL EVER BE CLOSE AS WE WERE BEFORE THE EX TOOK HIM AWAY WITH ALL MY RIGHTS EVEN THOUGH HAD VISTATION SHE WOULD NOT ALLOW AND HAD TO HAVE POLICE INVOLVED AND FINALLY I JUST GAVE UP NOT SURE IT WAS THE RIGHT CHOICE BUT I WAS GOING IN SANE TRYING TO DEAL WITH IT
Good afternoon Tom,Just a few words of encouragement, you have been through so much and I wish I could say the worst is over, but it doesn’t look that way.1st:: I know why the "X" lies and that is so other people will feel sorry for her & think you are just the biggest "A- – – – – E"! Which of course you aren’t–you are just a DAD that wants to see his son. 2nd: I am divorced as well as engaged to someone that is divorced. My fiance’ is the best dad and he always sees his children. On the weekends that we aren’t suppose to have them-we always have them. During the summer time – his children come over the day they get out of school & she (the "x") will not pick them up until the night before they are to start school and I am not in the least bit even kidding. However, my point is that according to her – we never have the children and she is so stupid she honestly believes this in her petty little mind. She feels that since she takes care of them during the week & we only get on Friday, Satuday & Sunday-that she does all the work & we do nothing. He pays $700 a month for child support -even during the summer when we have the children. We buy all their school clothes. Well my initial point was that I think his "x" just lies to get pity from people, she is very manipulating & a very selfish individual.3rd::My "x" spends time w/my daughter – but it is at his convenience. Sometimes my daughter will go see him for the weekend & he won’t even be home all wknd, he is on a b-b-q cooking team. So he leaves my daughter w/his wife all weekend & she (my daughter) calls me all weekend and complains that he is not there & wants to come home. So I’ll call him & ask him since he is not visiting w/her can she come home. He says "no" because it is his weekend. however, he isn’t spending time w/her – so he does that just to spite me. and the only person he is really hurting is her. Tom, I’m sorry my comments were so long I just wanted you to know that you aren’t alone. I know it hurts when your "X" acts like that – until your circumstances chg – you will have to grin & bear it. Good luck & I’ll keep you & your son in my prayers.Have a great day.
tom,my husband and i are going through a lot of the same things . his ex is a nut job ( no i had nothing to do with their parting). and she uses the kids as her pawns . it is quite sad. but as our attorney told us yesterday we will have to grin and bare it . as she will never change. ( there has been a long custody battle since she was remarried and my husband and i got married). and the laws don’t favor father’s like they did back in the ol’ days. there are support groups that could help. i wish you the best but remember you are not alone in this. as long as you make each visit with your son warm and loving he will remember it. when he is older you will reep the rewards of all your sacrafice, and she will be left in the dust.
Stop whinning & get a jobTo want your son’s taxpayer’s handout is sad
Tom,Just wanted to encourage you to keep your head and and to stay determined to be a man and a good father. Custody laws and regulations definitely do not support fathers but don’t give. I encourage you to try to get closer to God during all of this and He will give you the direction and the strength to make the right decisions. God Bless
TomThere’s nothing you go through that Our Lord Will not see you through it. Hang on and have faith. Dont give up. I’ve been divorce 19 years and I have never received a penny from the childrens father(my ex). They are now 24 and 22yrs with children of their own and doing well. Here I am doing great and enjoying my grandkids and proud to see my son and daughter doing well. I thank God each and everyday for His abundent love and grace. Carol
Dear Tom,I read with compassion your plight. I, too, was classified permanently totally disabled back in 1992. I, too, from 1998-2001 went through a divorce and an ugly child custody/support battle that was very unpleasant, so my heart goes out to you with much compassion. But today, I want to encourage you. I would like to bring you a word of hope. It sounds like you have reached the bottom. Sometimes God allows us to reach the bottom so we will look up and find Him. One of the comments from someone indicated you were raised in a convent by nuns. Did you ever accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour? If you have not, may I encourage you to accept His salvation not only for your soul, but you mind and your finances and your body. If you did accept the Lord, Tom, you have a remedy for all this mess you are fighting (the Bible says all the evil junk we face is from the enemy (Satan, of course). During my mess, I learned that when you have NOONE to lean on, rely on, and trust in………. and you choose (it is a choice) to lean on, rely on and trust in ONLY God, HE comes through………. amazingly! …… sometimes in absolute physical miracles. I had no income…………… for nearly two years, no utility was cut off, (except the second phone, and that was a choice). I am still in the same house, and God is still doing miracles. I prayed for feminine hygiene stuff, I was so desperate. God had someone put it on my door and leave. God told me in a dream to go on food stamps. He met the food need. I prayed for clothes, I had lost so much weight I had nothing to wear. I am short, regular clothes don’t fit. God had someone give me clothes that fit perfectly. I prayed for a car, told God I needed a car to go to court, in His perfect will, way and timing, I wanted a car. Within a week, there was my car…… from a very unexpected source…. free. When I finally gave up trying and cried out to Him about the court stuff (eg. I got threatened with jail for an error my attorney did) He did miracles in two different courts many times. Noone believed me when I told them God told me in a dream I would be in our insurance agency. I am here today, we split it. I am a female business owner, God did a miracle. Two or three different times different people in our church told me God told them to give me money. Usually there was a utility getting ready to get cut off and it was exactly enough. — needed four new tires, prayed for, received— needed a new transmission, God supernaturally used a very unexpected source for that— needed a new speedometer, God had me lay hands on it and HE supernaturally fixed it.My washer belt broke, God fixed my washer supernaturally— it is still running! Every time I cry out to God about loneliness, He has someone I love call and usually they ask me to do something with them. He fulfills every need, Tom, even social needs. I could spend hours, Tom, telling you of the miracles God did for this disabled Mom……… including, but not limited to……….. NOW….. 6 1/2 years after my husband left, He has healed me completely. (He had me go on a 40 day fast with our church, and He healed me during the fast.) He healed me enough to begin working in our business in 1999 by vitamins, minerals, herbs, oxidizers, taking me off of the pain medicine, antiinflammatories and muscle relaxers; It took from 1998 to about 2000-1? to get me off the rest of the medications, but I am physically free! Let me encourage you that God can do anything….. if we put our trust in HIM, not ourselves, not the court system, not other humans (such as attorneys). The Bible says He is the great attorney. Let him handle your ‘case’. I had to go up against an expensive attorney all by myself in court to get part of the agency. I had to fight untruths as well. I John 5:14 is my favorite verse, not exact, but this will be close, it says something like……… and this is the confidence we have in HIM, that if we ask ANY THING —– (here’s the key) in HIS WILL, he hears us…………. and IF he hears us, Tom, we have whatever we asked of him. Isn’t that amazing? — Tom, Do you believe it is a loving God’s will for you to not see your son? no, absolutely, God wants families to be able to be together, to love each other.— The Bible says God is not a respector of persons, what He will do for one, He will do for all. Do you believe God loves me more than you, Tom? Absolutely NOT. God loves you every bit as much.— Do you believe God wants to heal you? yes, absolutely yes— Do you believe God wants truth to come out in court? absolutely, yes, He is all about truth, justice, rightASK Him………… after you have surrendered and repented for any sins, known and unknown….. ask HIM. The Bible says He will do as you ask if you ask in his will and there is no hindrance to your prayer (a couple of scriptural hindrances to prayer are 1) sin 2)disobedience to God, 3)lack of tithing Malachi 3)Get rid of any hindrances to your prayer, Get in God’s face and ask………….. The Bible says if it is His will, it is done. To put it another way, like the old song, Trust and obey. If He says do this, I do this, If He says do that, I do that. If He says take this attorney’s advice on this issue, I take their advice. Until He directs, I don’t take a step. He took over my life completely and He is fulfilling my every need, and many many many of my desires. He has destroyed bitterness, anger, hopelessness, helplessness, defeat, despair, dismay, fear, and many other things the enemy would love to keep in my heart. One more word of encouragement…The Bible says My God shall supply ALL our needs according to HIS riches in glory. Let Him remake you, heal you, finish you, and bring you joy and peace and happiness. What it takes………. full surrender, lots of prayer, lots of obedience, your everything….. but He makes it worth it all. God Bless You, Tom, I prayed for you today.Histemi
I know just what this feels like. I’m going thru worse in Colorado. How do fathers get the facts to the judges (not that it seems to matter). What the court has done (here) has to be crimal! Haven’t seen my daughter in almost two years. No hope in sight. Wish I could get my story out there to someone who can help, it just seems so hopeless. I can only wonder how many other sons and daughters are being denied relationships with their fathers. What would it take for the courts to see what there doing to our children??????
Speaking as a child without a father. I could have a lot to say. But I am not going to ramble on uslessly to you, on how you should have hope and what not. I would like to comment on the very first comment on this entry. I do not think that it is completely true. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that God wants all families to be together, If that was true, he would have his way, and my family has never bene together. You can see it in me, you can hear me spout off about not having a dad for hours, or you can see a lifetime of heart ache from it in my eyes. thats important. never let your sin think that you don’t love him. and never give up. if you want me to say more, I will, but only if you say so.
I read abit about your journey through this very hard time….my heart bleeds not only for you but your son and yes even for your ex-wife. Divorce is a horrible thing, worse than death in my opinion…. at least in death, there’s a body and an "end" of sorts. Divorce is forever as I’ve found in my own experience. No matter how hard you try to remain "friends" and be civil towards one another at least for the sake of the kids, a story is always relayed that he/she said about you…. and was over heard saying this bad thing to our child/children. How very sad that people have to be petty and selfish in bad-mouthing an ex-spouse and just as equllay evil, doing something out of spite either directly or "using" the kids! I wonder why some can’t see the pain caused by their self-centeredness to the truly innocent…..the children! My thinking is that there’s nothing I can do about what others do, but I am accountable for my own actions. I refuse to join in the stupid games and hurt my kids. My kids are grown now with families of their own. The TRUTH did and does come out in time!! Although my kids live in the same state as their father, they spend more time with me (via the phone). I say all this to encourage you to keep doing what’s right. You may not see or be rewarded today….but as I’ve stated, the truth does come out and they will remember that you didn’t hurt them by taking jabs at your ex, what’s more, you didn’t hurt their mom either! Everyone I know that’s in the proccess of a divorce is told try all that you can NOT to divorce, try and work it out and if you believe in God, get Him involved….right in the middle! If divorce can’t be avoided….. keep God in the middle of your life cause you WILL need Him! I truly wish you the best all that God will provide if you will ask….after surrendering your all to Him. Why not try Him? You have nothing to loose and everything to gain. I know I wouldn’t have made it to today w/o God. He unlike ex.’s is forever faithful, will never lie nor let you down! God bless you. I will check on you soon….I hope things are better for you and yours by then! 🙂
My ex-wife and I divorced a little over a year ago. We have three teenage daughters whom I love very much. Even though the divorce was very difficult for me (I didn’t want it), I now feel fortunate to have joint legal and physical custody of my daughters (my ex didn’t fight this request). Question – did you ask for joint legal and physical custody? In Minneapolis, it’s now the preferred form of custody (by courts) if both parents are interested and able to raise the children. While I’m still sad about my divorce, I count my blessings.