My Future

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I wrote an e-mail to my brother just to say hi and tell him about my Space. In it i asked for ideas to write about because I was running out of them. I had some in mind but quickly went through lately. He gave me a great idea I have not thought of and no one else mentioned. My future, He told me I should write about my plans for the future. Where do I go from here & how to get there? I have not done this for a long time and its its time I started to. My bro has always helped in the past and he came through again with this idea. It is definitely something I need to do. I will be thinking about it a lot in the next few days. When I get my plan together I’ll share it here.

Thanks Bro…tom g

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23 Replies to “My Future”

  1. hey you don’t need ideas, just write according to your heart, that’s what’s genuine and matters most! keep rocking ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. Tom,I don’t think you need to ask anyone for help, your doing fine job. My blog i mainly about my everyday life and the struggles we all go through. Yours are your honest feeling and thats what its all about. But, the idea your brother gave you is excellent, and if you write that, thats great, but your site and writings are great because there YOU!Take care,Patti

  3. hey, i think that you are a really nice guy – im so sorry that your marriage has worked out this way. i really respect you for not hating your ex – for only ‘hating her actions’. that is a great outlook. your son is absolutely adorable! i cant wait to have kids. ๐Ÿ™‚ i think writing about your future will be fun – especially concerning speculation about your son! who knows who he will be or where he will go!

  4. Thank you for your comment Tom. I have always tried to be the nicest person I can be. I’m surprised you didn’t some up with it yourself. But it was close enough it came from a blood brother ๐Ÿ™‚ You know if you ever need someone to talk to you can always talk to me. I kind know what your going through but I’m on the other side. The childs side. My parents divorced when I was 4 and it has been tough ever since on me, just cause my dad chose not to have me around, atleast you want to be aprt of your sons life, unlike other men and women. I’m here for you, not to judge but to listen.Take care,patty ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. thanks for replying to my comment so quickly! (i left a comment on your ‘your father’s day memories’ too). anyway, thanks for your encouragement about my space – do you have any suggestions? i hope that i can give you the encouragement you need, keep trying!

  6. I have been reading your blog since it was on MSN’s home page. I did go back to the beginning. I am trying to decide how I feel about it. Then yesterday the comment and response, to and from "Momof2" was on there. I have tried to keep an open mind, this is "your" journal and also keep in mind this is your way to express your feelings, thoughts and opinions. I know when I take the time to write down my feelings, I do the same. But this is a public journal, not private, the entire world can read this. I guess I wanted to say I have alot of the same questions "Momof2" has. Then, I think, they are none of my business; this is "your" journal. But there is alot that just doesn’t add up. At this point my opinion is MIXED. You can lie to the court system (including SSI) and win!!! Case n point, your ex wife. She has lied to the court system and won, according to you. And if my ex was threatening me as you say yours is you. I would have a nice little recorder in my pocket. And I would be using it (only in front of the judge). I also think food, shelter and clothing should be bought before games and toys. On the other hand, I think it was wrong of your ex to return the toys you purchased for your son. The child doesn’t understand. I do wonder how you have all this ability yet you are disabled. I wonder what has taken place for a judge to cut you visitation to so little time. Isn’t an entire week end, everyother week and one week night customery and supervised that one really puzzles me. I believe that if everything is as you say it is, Logan, as he grows up will see things as they really are. Kids believe their parents are idols, when they are little. But as they grow up and reality invades their worlds. They see the truth. I am divorced. My husband won custody of our youngest (14 at the time). My parents divorced when I was 4. It took my son 6 months to see. I was a slow learner, I was 18. A journal is a great way to unload, I understand that. I also, understand what I think really doesn’t matter. The only thing that does matter is Logan. Please make sure he isn’t left with the same questions that "Momof2" and I have. Make sure all his questions are answered. One day he will see the truth, see you for who you are and what you are, bad/ good — right or woring, he is all that matters. And the same is true for your ex, she will have to answer to him one day, also. I do hope you keep up your blog. I hope to keep reading it and understand better as time goes by. I do wish you and Logan all the best.

  7. HAVE FUN! ENJOY LIFE.THANK YOU FOR STOPING BY.ALLWAYS MAKE ANEY COMMENTS YOU WOULD LIKE.I HOPE YOU LIVE LONG AND PROSPER.G.G.

  8. hello.I find your space very inspirational. There is alot of advice & other stories here left by other people too which is also a good help to anybody in the same sort of position as you. Although things did not work out with your wife as well as you hoped, you have a lovely little boy who I’m sure will always be there for you when things may change in the future. I just use my blog as a kind of dictionary for myself so i can keep all my stuff together. It doesn’t really offer anything such in the way of this. All there really is about me so far is that im still ambitious & love to travel. I ndon’t mention anything about my family but still. My parents split when i was 16 while doing my GCSE’s & thinking about college (my future). Also my grandad died the same kind of time & we were close so it was very hard for me to get my head round. My dad was kicked out by my mother cos she fell out of love with him & so he found a small flat of his own. He has been married a few times & lost contact with literally everybody who means anything to him. He does have his friends thou. I never lost contact with him either even though considering his past, he felt that would happen. I think he kind of thought I favoured my mother but that wasn’t true. I still love them both & I will always be there for him when he needs me as I’m sure you and your son will be for each other in the near future. I hope you don’t mind but I will add a link of this site on my blog for future reference & a kind of direction for other people who want a good read :)Take care my friend.Chris.

  9. I read your blog for the first time last week sometime – that was when I decided to make my own – mostly because you sound so much like my husband. I wrote up this huge entry – saved it – and got upset. then I deleted it. Then today I returned to your site… only to see that you had received responses to your page, and were responding to them in your blog. I understand it is hard to understand the extent of your situation only by reading your blog. When I made mine that day – I tried to be as open as possible – but yet – keep certain things private for fear that some people may misconstrue. I gave up on my blog for this reason. Then – today – I started another one. You see – my husband and I are going through a dvorce. It is my second divorce, and his third. The two of you have a few similarities. One big difference being that you have a disability, and he doesn’t. He doesn’t hold down a job. He wants to attend college… become a lawyer… yada yada yada. I disagree with a lot of the things you say. It seems a lot like you are very bitter towards your ex wife. You say she lies a lot. You speak of her adultery. This makes you sound like my husband. My divorce is very difficult for me. Mostly because I have a passion for God, and I feel as I have let him down. But also because between us we have six children. I do not know you – or how you are with your son, or why you were granted so little time with him. It seems to me – there is nothing that should prevent you froming taking what little time you have. If you get the time legally – you should take it, even if your ex-wife tried to change your plans. If it is YOUR time, take it, don’t alow her to change it. I agree with the other person who responded to you about your job situation. I know nothing of your disability, but there has got to be jobs that you can do. Even if it is merely staying at home and stuffing envelopes and getting paid 3 cents per envelope. Emotional support is very important for a child, but children need to see stability. I could go on and on – but I won’t. I just wanted to say that I think there are things you could do to fix your own situation. Rather than placing blame on the system, or your ex, or even on yourself…. just do something to get yourself out of the pit that you may be in. If you start with prayer, you may find that it is not all that difficult to forgive people who have hurt you.

  10. Hey I like how you have dressed up your site. Hang in there it is difficult not being the custodial parent. Child support limited visitation and all. Children grow up, amazingly long before that they see things for what they truly are. It doesn’t make them stop loving the parent with the greater number of issues but they do see. I hope that during all your struggles you always remember to never bash your son’s mother in front of him. He will resent it even if you are the hero and she is the villian. I have learned the most you can do for your child other than providing the financail support to raise them is to love them more than you love yourself. Good luck to you.

  11. Disregard any negative comments, they only cause negative energy. You are capable of doing whatever you have in your heart, no matter how difficult. We all have the strength to accomplish our goals. Your a great dad, you have the best intentions and that will get you far. I have learned over many years that anger gets me nowhere and hatred gets you pain. Forgiveness is never easy and sometimes never comes. I have been through many struggles in my life and have just started a new struggle. I am encouraged by your story and wish you much happiness on the road to success. You can do whatever you set you mind to, though at times it may seem difficult, keep on your path.Blessings,S

  12. Anger is bad…Focus on the right..absorb the criticism in the right manner and block out the rest. Strive to improve yourself coz now you’ve got to be the best!!!

  13. The Future. What about, another day, and one after that and the next and next and to live to onehundred completely intact! ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. Hi Tom,For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11.God can take things that the devil would plan for evil and turn them around and use them for good.God loves you and your son. I pray that God will help your heart to heal, your relationship to heal and grow, and that the relationship between you and your ex will not be difficult, but enjoyable. Maybe there is a testimony here somewhere in the future.Press in to what God has for you and fear not the future, but believe that God will help you through, over, or around whatever obstacle(s) come your way.In Jesus’ name I pray.Phil

  15. Hello there and greetings from Canada. Ditto for what most people are commenting but not all of what they say. I just wish you and your son the best of what is yet to be. I am not here to pass judgement on what you say or do as some others believe they have the right to…lol…just be you, always be honest, smile, love yourself and your son to pieces and trudge on!((((HUGZ))))

  16. To Mom of 2:Just the kind of comments I’d expect from a woman.First, you question the guy’s disability. When was the last time that the courts questioned a woman’s ability to provide for her children? They don’t because that’s the man’s responsibility, right? That’s why men are predominantly hit for child support and the women can spend it on whatever they want to. Women just whine that they can’t work because they have to be home to take care of the kids, and the courts let them off the hook and put the burden on the husband. Second, you question allegations of abuse. Women claim that all the time. My ex threatened to claim abuse, even though she was the only one that ever hit anyone in anger. Why is it that a woman’s claim of abuse is taken seriously, but a man’s isn’t. Third, you ask about his license being suspended for non-payment. When was the last time a woman’s license was suspended for non-payment. All they have to do is whine that they can’t take their babies to the doctor appointments and the courts renig. How is someone supposed to get a high paying job in the US without a driver’s license. You and the courts should wise up.Fourth, you talk about a close community jumping in to help the guy. What country do you live in?!? There is no close community for divorced men seeking equality because women and the courts don’t want that.Fifth, you talk about his ex wife’s adultery being irrelevant. Yet, women all over the country try to use that as a reason to deny their husbands custody and visitation. Talk about a double standard. And why is her adultery not an issue but his disability is with you?Sixth, it should be the state’s job to save the marriage. They won’t provide money for counseling, but will happily pay child support and allow the courts to be flooded with child support issues? That doesn’t make sense. We have money to blow Iraqi civilians to smitherines, but we can’t take care of America’s families? Get your priorities straight. Maybe a little counseling would keep these issues out of the courts and keep the kids off the government payrolls?You may not be a bitter ex wife, but you sure sound like one hell of a man hater. Maybe your Dad dumped on you, but don’t project that onto every other divorced guy in the world.

  17. Dear Tom, I love your sight, I wish I had more time to work on mine. Don’t worry about what people say on here, it’s hard sometimes to write down ALL the feelings you feel on certain issues, so many of us have mixed feelings anyway on many issues when it comes to our kids, ITS NORMAL! It’s also healthy and good for our kids to realize that we are NOT perfect. I have three adorable children, each one of them different from the other and all three very special in their own way. I and my ex share custody, sometimes I worry that its not the best way, and other times I think its what is absolutely best for them. My youngest son is a mommas boy through and through and my oldest is definately a daddies boy. How can I possibly in good judgement and love for my children tear them from one home or the other?? Quite simpy I can’t. Divorce is hard enough. I just can’t see making it worse for the kids by taking the one of the parents out of their daily lives. If I was selfish I could do that. I’m not a selfish person, I can work my life around my childrens and still be happy and content. Alot of people dont agree with me on this point including a few lawyers and a couple judges and of the course the "powers that be" But you know what? THEY aren’t MY boys’s parent. I AM! No one else is going to look for absolute best living situation for them but ME and hopefully their father. No one else can possibly understand your situation entirely because they don’t know all the details and WHO CARES, listen up mate, there is only two entities that really matter when it comes to making decisions about your kids, one is your child of course and the other is God. As long as you are doing right by both of those entities then you have nothing to worry about. God’s grace to you mate, come talk to me sometime and see my space:)Echoo

  18. Hang in there buddy. don’t listen to nobody but your heart. I am going through a rough time myself. See my wife returned from iraq last october, to find out she was cheating on me while she was there, while i was home taking care of our 2 kids and working full time. I have just started to read your blogs and enjoy them very much…

  19. I look forward to your posts about your future plans. It’s nice to see how other people live and think about there own lives. Keep us updated.~ Pam

  20. Whether all the facts have been presented or not, this site has certainly drawn a good deal of attention. Not only your testimony, but also the testimony of others via comments, has made this site very thought provoking.Even if you don’t ultimately end up running it (due to disability reasons), you should consider trying to put together an official organization that strives for parental equality. I think that it would be a good way for you to help your own situation, as well as the situations of the many others that have responded to you.At the very least, it would be good way to pool resources and find out something in the rulebooks that would directly help your situation. In turn, it could make a very real difference in custody situations for everyone. There certainly seem to be a number of parents with stories to tell โ€“ and also parents who would have a vested interest in joining and participating in such an organization themselves.Another consideration is that living at home all of time โ€“ whether due to disability or other reasons โ€“ is very wearing. I lived in Denmark for 10 months with my fiancรฉ, and due to visa reasons, was not allowed to work. I ended up never leaving the apartment where we lived, with the exception to visit his family on weekends. I lost my sense of self, and couldnโ€™t find it. Now that Iโ€™ve returned to the States and am working, I am finally beginning to regain my life and my sense of who I am.Working on an organization for parental equality would be an extremely constructive outlet, and could possibly give you additional leverage should you want to petition for extra time with your son. Not only that, but its something that could help you actively fight for your sonโ€™s rights โ€“ or to require couples to undergo counseling prior to undergoing divorce proceedings. This, of course, provided there was no case of adultery โ€“ Iโ€™m morally narrow enough to view that as an unforgivable crime in a marriage.In either event, I hope that things work out as best they can for your son, and I hope that peace for all of you can be found.Blessed Be!

  21. Ah it’s always a good idea to think about the future cause otherwise time will just keep moving and you will regret the time you have wasted, indecision is a decision. I am reading your blogs regularly even though I may not always comment. Love and light – Bunny

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