More Trouble!

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When I moved out of my old apt I knid of knew I was taking a chance. Yesterday My ex came over to use the phone to call her b.f. She has a no contact order not to call or be around him. He was letting her stay there because he knew she had no place to go so more for the kids he agreed to let her come back there. Some thing happened and she was thrown out or left on her own but she showed up at my door around 2:00am to "talk" about our Son. When she got here she kept calling her b.f.’s phone number numerous times. I warned her that if they were fighting again the last thing she should be doing is calling his phone. If he was going to answer her calls he would have on the 5 or 6th time she called without an answer. She did not listen to my advice not to push her luck. As usual she did what she wanted and left to go over there. About 10 minutes after she left a cop called me to ask why I was calling her b.f.’s number. I told the cop that I did not. I knew he was tiring to get me to say she was here and called. But this put me in a odd position, I knew they knew and I told them she was here and made a call but I did not see or hear who she called. Shortly after my ex called again to ask if her b.f. called me. I told her the cops were looking for her and the best thing to do was to turn herself in to them she reluctantly agreed and said she would. 30 minutes later the cops were at my door looking for her, I let them in and they looked around for her and left. The next call shortly after was from my EX  asking if I would help her with bail. I told that they might not give it because she was out on bail for the same incident and bail bondsman do not like to do bail in this situation. I told her to wait a day or two for a bail reduction hearing for a lower or no bail offer. She sounded scared as hell and that was good for her.
She needs to pay for her mistakes too. I have paid for mine everyone else has to but not her. To my shock they did not give her any bail she just signed for herself. But now there is no way she is allowed to go to her b.f.’s apt so she has no place to live!!! The odd part is that the apt I live in now is in her name. She moved out and left it empty and paid for until the end of July. She wants to move back in here with her two sons(1 mine). I am not surprised that once again she has gotten me into a jam because she has a no contact thing against me too and I do not want her to get me into trouble again. I am not allowed to be hear or around her but since she moved out and the utilities are in my name It is right fully mine not hers. If she was to get mad at me for something she could call the cops and have me put out and arrested for violating our no contact thing. I just do not know what to do!! I do not want my Son’s mom to be out on the street even though she deserves far worse It is hard for me to make her suffer.If I let her live here (us all together) I do not trust her "word" to not cause me trouble. What to do??
Around 7:30pm another knock at the door. This time it was 1 cop and a woman from Child welfare, some one called them on his mom to make sure our Son is being treated well. I had no problem with them maybe they will help find out why he is troubled in school. They talked to him alone for about 45 minuted. Then me for the same amount of time. By then my ex came home so they got to talk to her too. They stayed until around 10:30pm. They looked all over my apt for running water food and stuff like that. I knew that I had nothing to worry about but I would of like to of heard what they were asking my Son but they made me leave the room. When they left I got the impression that they were satisfied that all was fine. My ex may be a bit more worried but not me. I know that I could make it even If I had to raise my Son alone. I do not need her to do that. My Son might need his mom though. and thats the hard thing. I would hate myself if I caused her to have to stay away from her/our Son. I am mad at myself for still feeling sorry for her. I was raised to be forgiving and all but she has a track record of not being honest and I am not afraid to say I am afraid. I have much to decide on in the coming days. My choices are staying here with her and maybe get into trouble, move out and live in the street or force my sons mom to live there. I may have some very cold nights ahead of me because my old apt is rented out to some one else now.
Well what a mess I have now! It will all work out some how I just I wish I could see how… tom g
 

9 Replies to “More Trouble!”

  1. I remember reading Auntie Jen’s comment to you requarding this subject and I thought her advise was sound. Now look. Is there a way you could still put her out on the street and take your son from her. When she is on her feet again then you and her can discuss visits. Tom she should not have the child at this point anyway. Where the" h-e-double hocky sticks"was he when she was calling the bf and then in jail? was he with a stranger tom? Was he with some freak tom? I am getting too upset to write this for now. Think about Logan Tom!!!!

  2. OMG!!! you a in a pickle. did you get something in writing about renting her apartment? you know she is screw you over, it is a fact, a leopard doesnt change spots and a psychotic x doesnt become sane. she is vengeful and coldhearted and you are going to get burned bad. i wouldnt feel sorry for her, i would think she is finally getting what she deserves, beside in a few days, weeks or months she will have her next victim (poor guy) and then she will either take the apartment back and move him in and you out or move in with him. she doesnt care about you or her children. the fact that family service got involved could have something to do with the fight before, if children are involved the normally get involved and in the state of georgia, you can lose custody of your children if they witness domestic violence. so, what i would do is find me a place to go, wait for your x to fall flat on her ass, and pick of the pieces that are left of your son and put him back together. lets face it she is a freak and doesnt deserve her children, but does deserve the crap she gets herself into. i cant stand to see a woman screw her children up and that is exactly what this thing is doing. dont be surprised if family services start making monthly visits, this could work in your favor. if you move out and find a place that is suitable, when your x screws up again, you could come forward and gain custody with state intervention. it is just a matter of time before she loses it and you are out in the cold. think about what is best for your son and staying in that situation isnt it. if she gets you in trouble for assault or something like that, you may not see your son again. if you protect yourself, you protect your son….kat

  3. Please don’t take this personally but how can you honestly wonder why your son is acting out at school when he is going through all this crap that he has no control over. Don’t be fooled kids no matter how protected they are know whats going on they are way smarter than we give them credit for. Just my opion but i think its time you stop worrying about everyone elses problems and start worrying about what is most important. You and Your Son!! You have prefect opportunity here to get custody of your son and give him the life he deserves. And no offence but the dumbest thing you did was trust your Ex and move into her apt. I’d be looking for something else fast and contacting your lawyer about taking that poor child of yours and giving him a life that is stable. Sorry if this little note sounds harse but reading this blog has made me very upset. For your Son and only your Son. Like i said the most important thing is your Son and You. Take care of number one.Kim

  4. First – thanks for visiting my site earlier. I got your comment but haven’t had a chance to get over here to read up on you. I apologize for that.Second – the apartment thing… Call your attorney immediately. Do not let her back in that apt. unless he says it is legal for you to do so. Even if she has been nice to you lately, she can apparently go from zero to bitch in under 30 seconds flat. Don’t take the chance. Best thing to do if she wants the apt. back, it’s still in her name and the laywer says it’s legally hers – get out. Temporarily move in with family or friends. Put your stuff in storage and cancel all your utilities. The lease may be in her name but that doesn’t mean you have to give her a free ride. If your attorney says the apt. is legally yours, then do yourself a favor and ask him about letting the court know that your ex is now currently homeless, thus making your son homeless and then try to apply for TEMPORARY CUSTODY. (in order to provide your son with a roof over his head… then, if you are granted temp cust and you can show for a period of time that your son is doing BETTER with you – that’s when you apply for full custody!)Third – good luck with whatever you decided to do to handle this.

  5. Hey TI really hope that everything works out. Although we never had this situation, my dad had us live with his parents twice (once when he and my mom divorced, and once when he and Tania divorced). My dad had some pretty sticky times, but we got through it. I really hope that you find a resolution.

  6. I’m sorry, but I got really upset reading your enjoy for today. Mostly, for your son. I hate it that he is seeing all this stuff and that CPS came and talked to him. I would talk to my lawyer and try to get custody of him. He doesn’t need to know what all is going w/ you ex being in and out of jail or knowing that the cops are looking for her. Find a place fast, even if you have to move in with someone, (better than living with her) and get your son. I’m sorry if it’s upsets you, I just feel sorry for your son having to deal with all these adult issues.

  7. Ok my two cents… as that eighties song goes:You gotta harden your heart. You gotta swallow your tears.This is the opportunity that you have been waiting for – your chance to get custody of your son. Don’t go wishy-washy now. Harden Your Heart. As for a boy needing his mother… that is only true if the mother is a source of stability for the boy, an emotional port in the storm, a woman who loves the child more than herself. Right now(and maybe not ever) your ex has not proved herself to be those things. Any child needs a stable loving peaceful environment where they can count on certain constants, in order to flourish and be the best person they can be. Children need this WAY more than they need any biological parent.Just as you have to sleep in the bed you make, your ex needs to face the consequences of the choices she has made. She chose to pay the apartment through July. She chose to move in with someone else. She chose to sublet the apartment to you to make some of her money back. She has chose, time and again, to put the highest priority on her own (often unwise and immature) desires instead of doing what is best for your son. Remember that. Remember that she has, over and over, shown you no mercy. She has deliberately kept your own child from you, for no better reason than to hurt you. If I can influence you in anyway, let it be: Stop caring what she thinks of you. Stop caring about making her situation any better. She has gotten where she is in life by taking advantage of people. What goes around is finally starting to come around in her case… it is a leason that is long overdue for her. Focus on your son, and on yourself. You have to do what is best for the two of you. And from what I have read over the past 7 months or so, she ain’t it, my friend.Save yourself the frustration, aggrivation, potential jail time and/or bail money and/or court costs. Get your son back and keep her out of your lives as much as legally possible.Love, Jen

  8. Amen Jen!!!! Please Tom Please. Get Logan, go to the children services explain how she is homeless and you want your child, now. In a court of law she sub-let you that apartment, it is yours. Now I understand you do not want to make a dangerous situation worse, so be kind to her but go to the services and courts behind her…please Loagan is in need of this, Tom that is why school is not going for him now. I teach, and I see this all of the time…

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