The Past Week

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 Hi, I guess its about that time to update my Space I finally got my cable hooked up & now can get off the free dial up (10 hours/month) from netzero. Well here we go…
Last Friday (1/6/06) I picked up My Son at school and his mom was there as planned but he was no where to be found.  All the other kids got came out but not him! We went in to the office where they call around and found him. We went back out to meet him to find him looking down at the ground  with a very sad  face. His teacher was leading him to us also looking not so happy. He was making noises and was put out of the class for not stopping after many stern warnings from the teacher. His mom let him have it about his behavior in school lately. She ended by leaving it up to me how to punish him. I made him write a letter to both teachers who had problems with him lately. More about this on Sunday night when  he writes it.
I had to pick up more things at my old apt so I brought him to help a bit. We made hot dogs for dinner and he ate good. I had some apple strudel for later. Then we went to get some food for the week end from the supermarket. I let him pick out his favorite cereal and dinner items. It was fun to see what his likes and dislikes. By the time we got home and the food  put away  I got him ready for bed and cleaned his new ear piercing. We were both asleep a hour later (10:00pm).
Last Saturday (1/7/06) We got up around 8:30am and he wanted Rice Crispies, I added, o.j, ½ a omelets I made for myself. We then went back to my old apt for more junk to move. My neighbors daughter and my son went fishing and to a b’day party together about 2 years ago. The remembered how many fish they caught and had fun talking while I loaded the car up. They said goodbye  and we went back to unload. He brought his football so we went out to through it around for a while. Some kids soon gathered and I let them play for a long time while I watched them having a blast. We took a walk along a little creek in back of the new apt. He has so many questions about many things like evaporation, the stars and how can God  NOT have a beginning/birth just to name a few. (He’s been reading the Bible).We ate lunch and watched “Space Ball”. He love that movie so much we watched it three times and he did not move the whole time, just laughed a lot as did I but mostly at him laughing. I saw the movie about 100 times. For dinner we had some big cheeseburgers with ketchup and relish, Mac & cheese and string beans. He ate almost as much as I did. I let him play with his Game Boy Adv.  Looked at some Science magazines and talked then went to sleep.
Last Sunday (1/8/06) Up about 8:00am We both had egg and cheese omelets with o.j and toast and a doughnut. I had coffee of course. We went to look for his bed and some furniture for the apt. I ordered some for delivery last Monday but they never showed after I paid in full for about $1600 worth of furniture. I was so mad that I went back and demanded my money back! They did not want to but I convinced them to. (my Son was in school)  I will save money if I look in the paper for what I need. It might take more time but I need the money.  For lunch we got fast food  I let him play in the in door play ground  for about 1 hour to burn some energy off. Then at Kmart we got a few things like more towels, trash cans and laundry soap.  I got him a Sponge Bob poster he picked out. Back home we put up his poster and he played on my keyboard I have set up in his room for him. I showed him how to change the tones and rhythms. He found the drums and had some kind of tribal jungle beat going on. I hooked up the mic and he thought it was cool to hear his voice from the speakers with the beats. We had pizza delivered for dinner and munched on it until bed time. I made him sit down with no distractions to write the letters to his teachers about how he is sorry for what he did. He was trying to hurry and kept making mistakes so I made him rewrite it when it got too bad. Hew finally got it when he took his time. He ended up writing each about three times. It took him about 1 ½ hours. I tried to answer more of his “questions” about life when I put him to bed. When I could I just told him so. I just said that we can try to find out together in the future.
Last Monday  (1/9/06) I got him up at 6:15am for school because I did not know how long it takes him to get ready to leave for school at 8:15. He got right up and he wanted the same breakfast as Sunday. We had plenty of time so I had no problems. He ate well and we got to his school about 8:10 (5 mins early). I kissed and hugged him and told him to be good. I reminded him to give the letters to his teachers and that his mom was picking him up as usual. I did not do too much other that moving my stuff and cleaning up my old apt. the rest of today and Tuesday.
Last Wednesday  (1/11/06) I was allowed to pick him up from school! My Ex called to see I wanted to and I said sure I got him after school and we had some time. I fed him a good meal and we just hung out and watched “Space Calls” again. I cleaned his ear ring and we played with the cat and her mouse toy. He like to make her “attack” it. She loves the excitement too but is still not use to the new apt and acting nervous about where she can go. She has sooo much more room now. I had to stay up after I put him to bed but I kept looking in at him sleeping because he is even cuter when hi is asleep if possible. I got him up again at 6:15 but he did not get up until 6:30. We still had plenty of time. I made he my now famous egg & cheese omelets breakfast and drove him to school on time. I walked to the door and hugged & kissed him, told him to be good. I made sure to remind him that his mom was picking him up as she usually does.
On Thursday his mom called me to say he was bad in school again! I was upset with him. I do not know what is the problem. I asked him many times but he says he does’nt’t know. There is a reason and we have to find out to really help him. Any suggestions will be helpful on this one!  My ex said she is out of way to punish him so she was taking out his ear ring! I could hear him crying in the back ground and it made me feel bad for him. I can’t totally blame her but I asked her to find another way because his ear might get infected or some thing but she was not buying my attempt to help him. He knew the price he would have to pay for his actions so in a way he can only blame himself but it just soooo sad to hear him so upset.
Now to the good part…about my ex being arrested! Last Saturday I got a knock at the door. It was a friend of my ex’s asking me to call me ex right away. I was worried so I got our Son ready to go quickly without showing my worry. I went to a pay phone at the local store where she was going to call me back. She called to ask/tell me to come to the police station to get her ATM card to withdraw bail for her ASAP before they ride her to the “Big House”. Her and her b.f were fighting and she picked up two charges of assault 3rd. I got the $500 needed for the bail and got that all done for her without our Son suspecting anything. She came out looking like she went through hell. We could not really talk with the kid in the car but she  told me on the phone later that she went right back to bail her b.f out! They now have a no contact order but they are still living together. I hope they do not let my Son see them arguing! I do worry but I have never been able to get her to see her own mistakes without getting into trouble, so I gave up on trying to.
Wow, that’s a long entry! I hope It was worth the wait. I do not like to write them so long but I had no choice this time. There is probably good stuff I forgot to put in, we had so much fun and it was a long time to remember it all. Thanks for waiting and have a great week end… tom g

15 Replies to “The Past Week”

  1. Hi!I just started blogging and ran across your site.You are a AWESOME father. Every child deserves someone like you.I just started building my site… it is not great.Well, just wanted to say HI! Stop by and say HI anytime.I’d love to make some friends:>LA

  2. Tom,I have to say you have had a busy week. I have a thought about your son acting up, it could be the situation he lives in. there is no telling what has happened over the past few months with your x and her b/f. he maybe acting out because of this. my niece is a child who lived through this and i have had a time. she lived through it for several years and is really damaged by the sexual things she was exposed to (not molested, but could hear or see her mom and stepdad having sex and she has seen many pornos that they left running) and the physical violence that she witnessed and was a victim of. when a child even witnesses something like this it is very damaging, it warps their view of what a man and woman’s relationship is. some parents feel that if a child doesnt see it that they dont know what is going, trust me, children know and i feel like your son knows and is just acting out in school, esp if he has never done anything like this before. you might want to find out if his behavior started before or after the new b/f. it maybe one way of figuring out why he is acting this way, and btw he will probably never tell you what he know because he thinks it will get mommy in trouble or make her mad where she wont let him see you. your son is in a situation where he has been forced to growup, and it is sad because he has the responsiblity of a younger sibling or feels he has the responsiblity. i wish you the best, it has been three years since i got custody of nieces and it has been an uphill battle. Good Luck.

  3. Tom,I think he is acting out in school because of trouble at home. You know he lived with you two then another boyfriend and a new baby and now another boyfriend and they more than likely fight and aurgue….that is my opinion. your time with him sounds so great. I am happy for you and him. I have a feeling you will eventually get to keep him.

  4. I can honestly say, your son probably is telling the truth when he says he doesn’t know why he did it. Kids who are stressed do almost everything without thinking. And punishment doesn’t help. It only makes him more stressed and angry. Calmly tell him that everything will be ok, and to take it easy. Tell him that he is still loved, and he will stop doing it. Kids in these situations don’t act out for attention or for malice. They act out because they are stressed and don’t know what else to do. Just make sure he knows he is loved and that he should try to calm down at school. Sorry I haven’t been commenting lately. I’ve been going through some rough stuff lately and I don’t have access to a computer except at my dad’s house. So these comments will be few and far between. I hope everything comes out ok

  5. Tom, from a teacher’s perspective, it doesn’t take much for kids to act out at school. But kids that deal with big change at home or are unsure of where they stand with either parent often do act out differently than their norm, and many time without realizing it. Sounds cheesy, but if you can trust your school counselor, talk to him/her about what is going on. I’ve had great counselors who helped kids recognize what is bothering them and learn to act on it in a more positive way. Of course, I’ve also worked with crappy counselors who had a kid play with sand and just ‘talk about feelings’ before sending him back to class. Crap! So, if you can, talk with the counselor to see if you like him/her. If he can get an opportunity to figure out his ‘why’ at school, he may find out how to express what is going on. I don’t know how old your son is, but my 5th graders rarely had the experience to know how to say what’s going on when it’s so different from their norm. Also, letting him figure out stuff at school takes the bad guy/good guy parent out of your hands… helps not to blame the parent not taking him to a professional or whatever. K, losing my train of thought. Got Monstergyrl sitting on my feet and Mancub sitting on my typing arm while Jimmy Neutron blaring. Soon2bex will be heading out for the day, so I’m a bit distracted. Good luck at school and have fun answering life’s many mysteries at home. 🙂

  6. Good Morning! New original music updated for this week on my site! Come and take a listen!….oooO………………(….)…Oooo………)../…..(….)……..(_/…….)../……………….(_/…..© Al’s Accolades in Life ¸.•*´¨`*•.§¸.•*´¨`*•.§¸.•*´¨`*•.§¸.•*´¨`*•.§

  7. hey whats up? just stopped by to see if you had updated and i seen you had so i gotta say that you seem to be doing quite well with your son and i really hope things continue to progress for you. have a great one.~Dave

  8. Tom,Wow, you’ve sure been busy! Congrats on the new apartment.On the subject of your son…in one of your posts on my site you said your son is very smart for his age and often times gets bored at school. Maybe this is why he is getting in trouble? Or it could be, like others have said, the troubles at home. Divorce is very hard on young children. I remember when I was in middle school when I would go to school after being with my dad all weekend. I missed him so much and I would just start crying. I started talking to my school counselor and it helped me a lot. Maybe your son should try talking to his counselor. Good luck and have a good weekend!

  9. Hi glad to know that you are having time with your son and hope that the progresss will continue.i got new blog at my space .you might want to check it out.God bless,mary rose

  10. Hi Tom,I’m glad to hear things are getting better. In reading the comments I have to say I agree with Kristen that the little guy has been through alot and I’m sure he misses you when you are not with him. Added to the fact that he is very intellegent, he may not be challenged enough at school to hold his attention. Loved the pictures of your apartment. You should have a friend take some of the both of you so we all could see you together. Have a great week Tom.Deb

  11. Hey Tom, making the blog rounds and I am so happy for you that you are gettng more time with your son!You said you were looking for advice for your son…it might help if you are more specific about what is going on with him. My son is in 6th now, but we had BIG troubles with him in earlier years.

  12. Wow, what a week. I half-heartedly agree with your ex on the punishment. It has to be something importnat to him, or it doesn’t hold weight. Keep doing what you are doing, you are doing a great job…JolieThanks for linking me to your site!

  13. Thanks for visiting my site. I think your site is incredible and I really enjoy reading about your son and you and your journey through life together.You mentioned your cat on my site. I hope she does well. You probably won’t have a big problem as long as you reassure her/him and let your kitty explore your new place in it’s own good time.Your kitty feels secure hiding under your blankets and I think thats cute. I’d make a bed for him/her with those blankets.Yes, cats are wonderful companions, what can I say? I adore them. I hope you enjoy your new home. In time, your kitty will enjoy it too.

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