Hi, I’ve been working on this for a while about why Christmas is not a big deal for me. I know your thinking how can I not like it. Well I do, it’s just that I don’t have good memories of it. I was only with my parents until I was eight ant I can not remember one single thing I got from them for Christmas or Christmas at all! We were very poor and maybe they did but I just do not remember. I thought long and hard through every memory of my time with them and could not remember anything of Christmas. No trees, no waiting for Santa to come or anything. I do not write this to make them look bad, we, like I said, were poor. I sometimes wish I could just to have some to know what it is like to sit and talk of Christmas’ of the past.
When my Parents could no longer care for us kids they sent us to live with some Nuns and other kids to live. Christmas there was not much better. We did get gifts but they were from strangers they would send us with for the time off from school for the Holiday. The Nuns would have time away too so they would visit their relatives. The people we were sent with were parents of the kids in the Kindergarten the Nuns operated. I still speak to some of the people who took us into their hoes for the Holidays. One parent and her kids invited me and my family to their home for Thanksgiving. It was great to see old friends! The woman who invited us is now about 24? and the last time I saw her she was around 14? Now she is married and has a great Son. Life goes on, we all grow. These are the memories that I have to look back on in the years to come. Not as great as most peoples but it all I have.
I have not many family traditions either. I hear of some cool thing like leaving cookies & milk out for Santa or like going to Grandma’s house. What are some of yours, I’ love to read about them? I was hoping to start my own family traditions but not having my Son around for the Holidays have made this time of year not so much fun for me. I was hoping to learn how to celebrate with him Christmas morning. Just to see the look on his precious little face as he opens my gifts to him. I have not been much of a Christmas person and this makes it worse.
People love to decorate too. I love to drive around to see all the cool homes lit up and decorated. I just can’t get onto doing it myself. I live alone and people ask me if I am getting a tree. I do not for myself but I have been in relationships where there was kids and I enjoyed going out with them to find and bring a tree home. I try to get out of decoration if possible because the Nuns had about 4- trees and we kids got to decorate them but hey told us where to put them all. That took all the fun out it. I also worked for a flower shop for about 5 years and at Christmas I had to do decoration all day as work. I miss those few times I got to enjoy it mostly when there was kids around to help and have fun with it. Take some pictures of your tree decorations and put them on your Space. I am, but not mine ’cause I probably won’t be getting one. It would bet there staring at me with my Sons gifts under it. Gifts I won’t get to see him open. Living alone I try not to think of it much and sometimes others think that I do not like Christmas. I do but I just would enjoy it more if I had someone to share it with like my Son.
This Christmas I have all of you to share it with and that will make it better than last years. I know a lot about allot of things but I could learn much about the Spirit of Christmas". I have the rest of my life to learn and improve…tom g