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Best Interests

Many comment refer to “in the best interest of the child”. This is a great concept. It is too bad it is not mentioned when parents divorce unless there is a reason like abuse, ect. Kids blog too and they left comment about how they never got a say in the matter. The kids are part of the family unit and not to get their input, is in my opinion, is not in their best interest Provided their old enough to know what’s going on. They know more than parents often want to believe they do. It is after all the kids who have the hardest time with divorce.

My Son is 6, and every day I try to imagine if he knows. I hope he is too young to remember the times that still too hard for me to write about. I also feel obligated not to make my Son’s mom look bad because, well she is my Son’s mom. I truly do not hate her only her actions.

Back to the Kid blogger thing, next Thursday I hope to start a list for “CLEAN” young Space bloggers. Many have asked for help with starting their Space and I just want to try to encourage them to write. Yes and spell correctly. I hope, even if you do not agree with my Space topics, you come back to check them out or list them on your Space if you don’t wish to come back. I am going to have a “Best Of Kid Spaces” & any one can vote. I am searching for more to list. If you know of any please send them here.

They deserve to be heard so we should listen!

 

“in the best interest of the child”…tom g

***udated 6/25/05**

I had a bit of trouble finding "clean kid Spaces" Many of them choose to be very expressive. Thats ok, I can undestand them wanting to be "free". Also, a few people said that tis would not be the best Space to encourage kids to write. For both of these reason I am hoping it will not be missed If I do not actualy do it. I sent the idea to the MSN editor who told me my Space was being featured. Perhaps they will do a "kids week" or something like that. I any one wants to take it on I would be happy and help search for them. I don’t like not finishing what I have started, but some times I can be wrong. Sorry kids 🙁  …tomg

5 thoughts on “Best Interests

  1. Dear Tom,Happy Fathers Day!Just came onto your space from feature on msn. I have spent alot of time reading the blogs and comments. I have alot to say, this will take awhile. I understand alot of the things you feel from varying perspectives. I am the bio mother of a 17 yr old girl. I have not seen her since she was 3. In what I thought was an amicable divorce I gave my ex full custody of my daughter for the right reasons, which i will not go into now because this will be long winded as it is. As soon as my ex found out I had a new boyfriend the harassment started. He started using my child as a weapon to hurt me because he was hurt. He started messing around with my visitation, I had to move to a place he "approved" before I could have overnights and generally screwing around with everything. Because I had signed the papers believing he was an honorable man I was up the creek. This created anxiety and depression a result of which I finally ran away. Efforts I have made with contact have been quashed. Don’t give in like I did you will regret it. I have a another 9 yr old girl who is the light of my life. Her father and I married last year finally. Both of us were pretty burned previously and hesitant to say the least. We have lived together all this time and went through hell with his ex. He had a support order and it was withdrawn from his check faithfully every week. But everything was all about her. She constantly messed around with visitation, not once in 8yrs did we get even half of the summer visitaton we were supposed to. She only contacted us when things were totally out of hand, usually calling drunk in the middle of the night. She interfered with contact like when my husband would call his children she would take the phone away from them and rant. She trash talked us but we never did that to her. She remarried but did not take her new husbands name so she could qualify for low income benefits. She under-reports her income to all agencies IRS included(she is self-employed in a business my husband left her when they divorced). One of the kids lived with us for 2 yrs and she collected child support for her the whole time. For her everything was about control and money it had nothing to do with what was best for the girls. After the girls got older they started demanding their visitation but it still never reached the agreement. We could not afford an attorney and could not qualify for legal aid because he was non-custodial so we just had to suffer. Again don’t give in the love you spend will come back to you. Now finally about to go or not to go. My parents died when I was 12 and 13. My father Nov 75 mother April 76. I live far away from where they are buried but I go everytime I am in my hometown. It provides a catharsis for me, a place where I can let my emotions run rampant and find answers I am unable to elsewhere. Even though of course the answers all come from me. Hang tough and hang in there the ex will get what is coming to her I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around.Veronica

  2. Your space has really improved since the spell check thing, Tom. Gives you more credibility. Sincerely, the Spellmaster, Queen of all spelling, NEVER makes mistakes EVER (hahahaha) ps You are great!

  3. Expressing their thoughts on life and the problems they are having and writing them down is a great way to grow…it’s an excellent idea and I also agree it is a great idea to help them learn their vocabulary!

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