Arrested again!

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I had this feeling this morning that I only get when something is not right. I knew that my ex might try something so I called the police to see if I they might be "looking for me". I was not too surprised when They said they were. I tried to contact the officer who took the report but of course he was off until Wed. I gave my friend some cash to bail me out if needed then drove right to the police station to turn myself in. I have always done tis they can never say they have ever had to come looking for me. they told me on the phone that the warrant was a few days old and when I asked why they did not even try to get my side of the story or simply inform me about it. How am I supposed to know about such things if they do not tell me. I guess I have to call the station every day to check.
The warrant was for harassment. I had $100 unsecured bond. That was ok with me because I just signed my for my self and after about 2 1/2 hours I was on my way home. The officers were cool about things too. The video judge was the nicest one I had so far. I was really expecting thing to be far worse than they were. I now have yet another "thing" to tend to in court. This case will not be in family court though. I alway thought that I had some right to have or at least see the police report but when I asked for it they said an attorney could get for me. I said that I plant to be my own atty. and again asked for it, they would only refer me to the records department. I ask for the phone number and did get that from them.
While I was being fingerprinted and all, they brought in two young kids for fighting (11-13) They had to fill out the paperwork themselves and made the cops laugh when one of the kids asked about what to put for drivers license number. I think they were trying to scare them more than actually hassle them.
There was another guy there who asked me a question that I had asked many people before myself, "what do the cops mean by Delaware is a womans state". I heard this so many times from the police and could never get them to go into what this was supposed to mean. It made me furious every time because in my opinion this is a offensive sexist thing for any one to say least of all a cop. If any one know more about this please leave a comment. That might be why they did not let me know about my warrant. If I did not find out on my own they would have pulled me over in my car and towed it away. I would have to pay about $200 to get it back minimum. I would have hoped they would make it as easy as possible for some one to turn them self in. It would have made me look ten times worse if they got me.
I am going to try to get the police report or find the law that says I am not allowed to have it. How can I start to defend myself if I do not know what was said about me?
I have to file some kind of papers to continue my visit now because I have a no contact order in place and I am not allowed to be around or talk to her. I do have a court order to call her on thurs. about that sats visit and to pick him up but now I do not know if the visit order is valid right now. This might be my x’s intentions. I can’t say for sure, but it would not surprise me. I will never know…tom g

19 Replies to “Arrested again!”

  1. Why axactly were you arrested? Makes me think your Ex is out to distroy you completely! You seem like a very outgoing person. What is she the devil in plain clothes?

  2. That is so awefull. It is hard to beleive that some one could be that mean. If I understand correctly, she filed a repot that you were harrasing her when you actually had no contact with her at all? As far as a womnas state, Texas is called the same thing. In simplist terms, it means that the man will ALLWAYS get screwd unless there is unarguable awefull evidense against the male. In your case it seems like you and everyone close to you can see that she is in the wrong but it is haed to actually prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is wrong to the people who have the authority to make any changes. I know that because my husband used to be a police officer. He also had several friends who went through similar situations. My parents got a divorce when I was younger. There was no fighting between them when they were divorcing but my Dad ended up with custody of us. My Mom knew that he would be the best provider. BUT, the court only asked her to pasy 50 dollars a month in child support. My Dad still had to pay allamony though and it was far more than 50 dollars a months. They felt sorry for my Mother because hse had been a house wife for the past 25 years and did not ask her to pay much. However, if the rolls were reversed, do you think they would have done the same for my Dad? That is a womans state. I hope things work out for you.

  3. I am so sorry!! You know, I really wish I could help you. (If I won the lottery, I’d send you money to pay for the most ‘take-no-prisioners’ lawyer.) I would like to know exactly why you were arrested as well. Harrassment? How can you do that if you don’t see her? SAAM

  4. When did you add that song? I swear you and I have had the same songs picked out for quit sometime now. I just added one of those tracks too. One thing about it our taste in music is identical. I was going to comment on that a couple of weeks ago, but thought it was a lark, now this one makes the forth time. I am sorry about the arrest. I will be glad when things are all put square with you…

  5. Hello there!! I have been reading your blog for a little while now and I am really touched by how much you love your son and try to do everything for him. I grew up without a father so I envy your son for having such a great father who loves him so much. My dad never saw me when I was growing and has never been there for me. I know how hard it is to grow up without a father, especially a father you think must hate you. I am so glad that even though you don’t live with him, your son knows that you love him and would do anything for him. I know you aren’t allowed to see your son that much but you do see him as much as you can and are trying to see him more. I know your son feels loved from his father and I think that’s wonderful! I love to see fathers so involved with their son’s lives. I think it’s great. Anyway, enough with my rambling….Could this harrassment have anything to do with the recorder in your sons stuff maybe? I know you wrote that you had put it in with your sons stuff and she found it. Maybe she took that to the cops and told them some stupid stuff and that you were invading her privacy by recording her or something. I hate women that do that kind of stupid stuff to their kids. They are trying to hurt the father but the only one they’re hurting is the kids. I hate to see that happening. I hope you get custody of your son soon and she gets the visitations. She’d still cause problems but atleast it would be a better home for your son without all the manipualting she does and he’d only have to put up with it every other weekend.Hope everything works out for you sooner or later here. I will keep reading to see what happens…My thoughts and prayers are with you,Lindy Jo!!

  6. thats horrible..i dont get it how she get away with let me get this straight…she made a reprot and they followed through without any proof? they cant do there any repurcutions? so what if you went in and did the same thing would they have to go arrest her and do the same thing or would it be different?

  7. I can’t believe it!What a B*tch.Nebraska isn’t much different. BM to SD does the same thing She lies and the judge believes her.What ever happen to innocent until proven guilty.I would like to know what her "proof" is of harrassment.Especially since you have to have BIL go with you to pick up your son.Let us know what you find out..I wish I could help on this one, but I haven’t found much on delaware law and harrassment.~♥~Michele~♥~

  8. Wow. Without knowing everything, how are you supposed to proceed? It can be daunting to have to find everything out on your own, but it is essential for you now. If they offer you a public defender, take it. The one my ex had in federal court seemed pretty capable. They all have to have a law degree. I just get this gut feeling she may be pulling something. Call the issuing station and ask what you are supposed to do about the order you have that says you are suppsoed to call to arrange your Saturday visits. You don’t want to miss them cuz you love the little guy, plus that gives her ammo for your next family court date. See if there is a fathers’ rights organization on the web, in your area or both. It really sounds like you could use some support. Just make sure the group isn’t too radical – that can rub a judge the wring way in a heart beat. With the criminal stuff involved, I’m just afraid she will try to unjustly accuse you of something and you will end up with the raw end. Document, document, document. Have it all organized before you get to any hearing at all so you can easily find it. If you need to, and with my nerves I definitely would, have someone there to help you keep things straight. Finally, I can’t believe that they would issue an order w/o any proof. Any time I have gone to the police for either my daughters being out and out threatened by another kid or a situation where I thought an adult male was trying to take advantage of my then 15 yr old daughter, I have always been told there was not enough evidence to proceed with charges. Hang in there and good luck with everything.Janice

  9. OMG!!!! My husband’s ex did the same thing to him, claimed he hit her. His lawyer got the charges dropped. i dont know about the law there, but until a restraining order is filed here, the suggestion that you not contact her is just a suggestion. i dont think the charges will stick….i do suggest that from now on you tape record everything….i mean everything….every man is she with will see how she is doing you…if he is smart he will haul a$$ fast…i would recomend contacting that attorney you hired, run this by him and see how to procede, because you dont want to lose your visits with your son. she is a sick biatch….(i am trying to be nice here) i have been there by my husband through alot, we have survice 11 yrs of marriage and only in the last 5 has it been quiet…once your son reaches an age that he see everything and it makes sense to him she will have hell to pay, trust me….the kids know and as teenagers, she will pay dearly.hope your your life will be better….kat

  10. I know this does not help at all, but she will get her just reward. It may not be today, or tomorrow, but what goes around comes around. I know for sure this is a fact, I have seen it happen in my own life, people who treat others unkindly, eventually face their judgment day…..unfortunately, your son is in the middle of this and I fear for him more than the adults because he will suffer the longlasting effects of all this and her mental abuse.Thoughts and Prayers,Sabine

  11. Hey there! Sorry to hear things are going rough again! Here’s my two sense worth as a mass comm. major:Make sure if you are tape recording that you check your state laws on the issue. Some states require that you tell the person you are recording a conversation… the situation becomes especially sticky on the phone. Also, tape recordings are not always admissable in court b/c they have the ability to be edited and such. Also, I’m not for certain, but many states have criminal procedue statutes that say that they HAVE to give you info if you ask for it. I know this is true in MN (press can even access such info here!)I hope this helps!

  12. hey Tom I am sorry about the arrest, really I am. I was just so shocked at our choice of music. Your X in really making your life a living h e double hocking sticks. I will continue to pray.

  13. Hey there, I am no mind reader, but my bet is that she got it b/c of the tape recorder. You need legal representation. This has gone too far for you not to have someone who knows the law on your side. My sister was just able to get free representation in Ohio – there HAS to be something like that for your state. Perhaps you couldask for referrals from the family court. Or if they are too female-biased, check with United Way. At this point, I very strongly suggest you obtain representation.

  14. Hello Tom. Wow,,,she is really making an a** of herself,,,and all of us other Ex wives. I wish I could sit down with her and tell her how in 10 years her son will suffer from all this Sh*t she is stirring up. Tom, I will pray for you ,,,for God to bring you some peace,,,and to send his Angels to protect your Son!!!I can’t believe in this day and age,,, that Ex’s can be sooo cruel. Hang in there my Friend. Love Shnev

  15. Hey Tom, I haven’t been around in a while, so I hadn’t realized what was up. That just sucks. Me and my STBX are, thankfully, able to come to friendly terms about visitation. I’ve been thinking about you and I’ll keep sending the good vibes your way. Just know that you are thought about and hopefully things will turn around soon!Talk to you later,~~SanDee~~

  16. That is just so wrong! There are guys out there actually doing what you are being accused of and getting away with it and they won’t even listen to your side. I hope your living hells stops for you- soon. Take care of yourself..

  17. wow what a *****…sorry…I just can not believe the "b***s" that some women have! my fiance has an ex that may be related to yours they act so similar…I am very sorry that you have to go through this and I am sorry that I haven’t stopped by in a while…:(As far as Delaware being a "woman’s" state…it basically means that in child custody cases the woman is going to get the child, regardless of what is best for the child, unless the father can prove her unfit…good luck with all!Boni:)

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