A Better Day

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Today it is nice outsind today. Only 80 and partly cloudy w/steady breeze. I could not find a ride to pick up my Son yesterday. I did get to call and talk to him for 10-15 mins. I had to convince ex to "allow" me. It did not take too much begging.

I have been a bit snappy at people latley. Some read this blog some dont, I am sorry if anyone feels i was rude or angry w/them. It wasn’t them it was me. I’ve had a bad couple of days.

Some one made me realize this, Thank you "someone"!

…tom g/logansdaddy – ( putting his self in check )

53 Replies to “A Better Day”

  1. Tom G,It’s been a few days since I checked in to say hi. I have been building a new space that is a little more fun. It allows you so add more stuff and I am more able to get involved. I will still stop in and say hi. Come check out my other site if you get the chance.http://www.myspace.com/lizaholic, this should link u right to it, if not let me know.~LIZ~

  2. Tom,Sorry about that link try going to myspace.com and where it says search, click on by email and put in cami4u@msn.com. That should link ya I tried it myself and it went straight to it.Liz

  3. Hi-I just came across your blog and I liked it. Im sorry to hear about the things you are going through. I am a single mom of four little girls (you can see them on my own blog) and I know what kind of struggles you are going through. I hope everything gets better for you and if you would like to chat, then feel free to email me or leave comments on my blog. . . . Talk to you later. . . Trish

  4. I am also a divorced father. My ex and I have a 5 year old son. My situation is complicated a bit because she’s quite religious… and I produce "adult oriented" websites for living. But things have a way of working themselves out. We get along great (better than when married) and keep our son’s best interests in mind. This means, for instance, that I let her keep him for almost every holiday. Why? Because he is around her family a lot and her little brother is more like my son’s brother than his uncle. I don’t think it’s right to take him away on Holidays when I know he’d have more fun with her side of the family. She, in return, is very generous with scheduling. Often times I can call in the morning out of the blue and have him later that afternoon. Working together and keeping the CHILD’s best interests in mind is the right thing to do. We try, rather successfully, to keep our own interests out of our dealings regarding him.Good luck!

  5. It is an amazing story that you have! My boyfriend is currently in almost the same situation and it is frustrating that fathers (especially ones who are fighting for right to their children) don’t have many rights! When the mother and the father can’t get along why should the children have to pay!! Hope you can achieve your goal!!

  6. I just want to say that you are a great Dad to care so much for your son. I have been divorced from my twin’s Dad for 3 1/2 years and he hasn’t seen them for almost 3. I even offered to help pay for them to fly and see him even though according to our divorce decree I am not obligated. He never even called back to say no and this was a Christmas visit. I can’t make him do what is right but you are good to stand by your son.

  7. Tom,I am a joint custodial parent, but I am the one who pays the child support and has to fight for visitations. I would like to just talk with you sometime one on one about your fight. Would you be willing?Lauri

  8. Hi,I have to admit – I am drawn to your story and was sorry when I got to the last posting. My husband and I got divorced back in 97 (our son was 8 then)but I ended up with the raw deal myself and I’m the mother. I don’t do drugs or am an alcoholic or anything like that. My mistake was that I trusted………… as it sounds like in your case too. My heart goes out to you, I know the feelings you are feeling, the thoughts that go through your head at night, the empty hole you feel inside, the tears you cry when no one is around. I understand and the only advice I can give you is what I did myself. Take one day at a time and you’ll make it through. If you want to email me I’ll be glad to hear from you. My email is bjstewart1@hotmail.com. God bless you and your son!! BJ

  9. I’m so sorry to hear about all the heartache you are going through. My hubby didn’t think he’d have any chance of getting custody. However, we documented all of the alienation, let her actions speak for her parenting skills, and did what was best for his son. My husband ended up with primary joint custody. The mother gets the summer and every other weekend, and we have him all school year, and eow during summers. It’s very hard when the ex is selfish and uses the child. No matter what, you have to love your child more than you hate your ex. I’m sure you practice that but keep your goal in mind. The happiness of your son. Your child will grow to see the truth and kharma will come back to bite the ex in the butt. Peace and love be with you. You’ll be in my thoughts this father’s day.

  10. My best wishes for you and your son, I hope you happens to deal with "sharing" him, is more than sharing time. Im divorce and have a 2 yrs old son (Mario) and his father doesnt worried too much to spend time with him. I hope hi make up his mind before it is too late and he still able to build a good relationship, still working as you area, you’ll see the fruits of it.Two thumbs!!!

  11. I have a lot of reading to do, but know that you’re not alone – there are a lot of us out there struggling with divorce and visitation.

  12. Hi Tom,I just had to take the time out to commend you for making the effort to be a part of your sons’ life. Your son is so fortunate to have you in his life. I grew up without my biological father, I know who he is but in my opinion he chose not to be a part of my life and that hurts alot. I am thankful that two other men have stepped up and fill the role of my absentee father. Now that I am older my biological father contacts me from time to time but we still do not have a relationship at all. He did not even come to my wedding even though I had an invitation for him. There are many persons without a father and it is not because they are dead, so when I read what you wrote in your space I had to applaude you. Continue trying to be with your son. All the best

  13. I have been divorced since 1989. At that time my son was 2 and my daughter was 4. I call my X the b**** from h***. She has made it very hard to have a relation with my children. The most important thing for me to remember was to make every effort to see them and be there for them when they needed me. I always told myself that they would see the truth as they got older.I now have a very special relationship with my 17 year old son and 20 year old daughter. I still do not see them as much as I would like but we are always there for each other when it is important.

  14. Hey,I just started reading this and it hits so close to home. I and my ex split under what i thought was good terms…it seemed. But as it was she was circling the wagons to do what she needed to. I have always been a good father to my 11 yr old daughter…and right after the divorce things seemed ok. Then it started….I had to fight to get my visitations with my daughter..not with the courts..they said it was my privlidge. I had to fight with the ex…she always changed schedules and held me up many times without even a call saying she was late. But I turned the tables and I was late getting back home one night with my daughter and I didn’t call the ex. She went and got a restraining order aginst me to stop me from seeing my daughter to stisfy her own anger. i know what the consequences are from that..I came from a broken home also. In court the judge laughed her and her lawyer out of the court room because the restraining order was completely baseless…..but that doesn’t stop my daughter from being in the system now. I just dont understand sometimes….I try to do everything right and it gets me more frustrated. I pay my child support…i see my girl 2 or 3 times a week and get her every other weekend..but it is a hassle sometimes. We fathers nneds some organized help from the goverment. We pay child support and do right by our children and we get set aside…but the ex’s seem to have the control…they say when where and how much most of the time…my ex had her boss send a form saying she was making so much at work…..he undercut the real figures by as much as 40%..so I had to pay more child support..and taxes. what is that deal…we pay child support..and the ex doesnt claim it? We have to claim it as income….and why should they get the benefit of the tax break….we should also be able to claim our child if we help pay for it. We pay child support….and do what we can. Where does it get us……wondering if it isn’t better to do wrong because doin right just don’t get us anywhere. Thanks for lettin me vent. Eugene/ Kenzie’s dad

  15. Hang in there. I don’t have custody of my daughter either and I have to put up with the same stuff you do. I lost the custody fight after 2 years, using every cent I had, and after being divorced from her father for 8 years! I ran out of money and my attorney wouldn’t help anymore unless I could pay him more before trial. I had no choice but to sign her over. Now, in the year and a half since he’s had her, I’ve been sued for child support, medical and dental coverage and now he is suing me for back medical bills (which I did pay and have the proof) and trying to cut down on my visits with my daughter because he says I never get her (despite 25 witnesses that see me pick her up and have her with me) It’s just more to harrass me. He doesnt’ work but lives off trustfunds and his mother pays for everything for him. Meanwhile, I have a child from a previous marriage who needs things too. I work 40 hours a week, make a little more than minimum wage, live in a one bedroom apt (this from a big house) and pay support, medical and dental insurance for her and half of uncovered medical bills. I also buy her clothes and toys because he refuses to spend child support on her and spends it on himself. What am I supposed to do, let her go without? Instead my older son goes without. Thank goodness he understands and he has a great dad.. Courts seem unfair and no one seems to help you unless you have money to pay them to do so. They don’t care that you are already poor, can’t pay for anything yourself (like prescriptions or medical care for YOU) or gas to get to work or food! But it’s okay that the ex spouse is sitting home, messing with your visits, and not working, taking your money and not doing anything for your child with it…..plus taking you to court when you don’t have money to defend yourself..I mean, it’s ridiculous…Hang in there buddy, I know what it’s like.

  16. I feel your frustation, I have stayed in marriage long over due just to keep my child at my side. Our position as a society has changed, but our views have not changed to reflect it. Today I know many Dads that are more active in the daily upbringing of their children than the mothers, though society reconizes it, we are not rewarded for it. Most households are split down the middle with earnings being generated from both sources, but the courts still make the fathers more financially responsible than the mothers. I recently had lunch with a friend who makes 2500 a month his wife makes 2700 a month and he has a 400 child support payment and has his child 3 days a week. My suggestion to you is…. We have the power to raise our children the right way and although we will not see a change in "the system" we are currently raising the people that will be able to make the changes for their benefit and that’s what raising children is all about, teaching them how to make things right, right from the start. hang in there Tom your son loves you and knows who you are that my not pay the rent but it gives you the strength to pay it!!!

  17. hey wow thats sum tough shit u bin thorough i feel so sorry for u im only 13 so i gess i dnt no jack bout this sorta stuff rlly but gotta say sorry bout all dat stuff thts happend 2 u but ull find sum1 else least recon u will/should gd luck m8

  18. I wanted to give you my sympathy and support for your situation. I am a stepmom to my husband’s two children. When I met him, he couldn’t even visit his own children unless she "allowed" him or needed a free babysitter. She decided to take the kids to Disneyland for a month during the school year without any notice to my husband. My stepson had to take summer school because he got so far behind. That was the last straw. We found a lawyer that would take payments and got him scheduled visitation and a "no contact" order with her as she got very verbally abusive towards both of us and had the kids scared sh**less when we’d come to pick them up. We convinced the judge to allow us to schedule our visitation pickups/drop offs at a safe exchange facility. That way she never gets the chance to scream at my husband in front of their children while I am unable to do anything to stop it. We also have a third party to keep track of all the times she cancels or is late (which is still, unfortunately, way too many).WHY CAN’T PARENTS PUT ASIDE THEIR OWN AGENDAS AND FOCUS ON WHAT’S BEST FOR THE CHILDREN?????On the other hand, my son’s father has not seen him since he was 6 months old (he’s 15 now) and has never sent him a birthday or Christmas card. He fled the state and they didn’t find him until my son was 10 so we never got any support until that time.I definitely know the trials and tribulations of the child support system from both sides. Sometimes the government would be better to stay out of people’s business!Good luck in all your future endevours. We take peace in knowing that his children know right from wrong and will grow up to know how crazy their mother is on their own.

  19. Hi ManI have been were you are .I retired in 97 and by mid 98 was headed to divorce.I fought and did get custody of my three Kids. I have had the ups and downs and anger spurts to were i wanted to hurt the guy she took off with or the kids driving me crazy but every time i just looked at them and how much i loved them and kept my cool.Yes i did go thru about three jobs and not enough money but now 7 yrs later me and the kids laugh about our adventures.Thats what i made it a adventure.Laughed about rolling quaters to eat at mcdonalds or loosing the heat cause i caouldnt pay the gas bill.HANG IN THERE YOUR CHILD IS YOUR REASON FOR LIFE AND NEVER LET ANYTHING PUT THAT IN DANGER.One day it will all be a memory to laugh about

  20. Hi,I came across your blog thanks to my msn home page; and also because I happened to read a terrific blog entry on this same issue on another blog that I visit often. I know it’s almost impossible to be rational in your current predicament, but I also know that as a father you would want to do right by your son even if it’s at a cost to you. Do read that blog it might give you your son’s perspective on your situation.

  21. Hi again,Here’s the blog site you may want to visit to read that entry that I mentioned in my last comment-www.iditis.blogspot.com

  22. I would like to say that it saddens me greatly that you were so excited to get ssi so that you could now take care of your child.Welfare is supporting your child.Get a job like everyone else.

  23. Want to Give UpI gave up everything (house, job) three years ago to be near enough to my daughter to do the bi-weekly vists. I’m working again, but still have to pay the past due child support at the levels (it takes two years to reduce the payments – is that correct in CA?). See my kid more, you’d think? Yes, but since I can’t afford an attorney anymore, my ex makes me pick my daughter up on her schedule not the courts. The local police will try to intimidate the ex, but will not enforce the court order. I lost 29 days last year of time I should have had to with my daughter.So, two years out of work, $45K in debt from the child support, and my future looks hopeless. Sure, I make full payments since I started work, but no debt relief for the two years I was unable to find work, and they are adding interest all the time.I am making less money than I made before, but paying at the same rate. She makes more money now and has now two homes (rents one) – and I have a little one bedroom apartment.While I was out of work, I ended up at a VA homless shelter and I was amazed to find men who lived in their car or truck so they could make a child support payment to women who lived with another men, basically helping to support their ex’s lifestyle.I tell my daughter how much child support her mother receives – and teach her about money. I’m tired of having her threadbear or show up with shoes that don’t fit – and I get her the clothes she needs. It makes me angry to drive up to my ex’s new house and new cars (literally).As my attorney once told me, my ex can spend that money on beer and cigarettes, and there is nothing I can do about it if the child is being cared for within the law.There needs to be some accountablility on both sides of the equation. I’ve done the math and I will never be able to buy another house for myself. Never save enough for a modest retirement. How can I save for my daughters college? Her mother certainly is not saving for it. At least if part of my child support went to a fund, that would make it brearable, but it’s not the case.I guess I live for my daughter, but without the benefits of being her full time Dad. I hate my life and I hate the system that has destroyed me.

  24. There are no excuses, I am a divorced dad who gets his son every weekend. I appreciate his mothers efforts and the hard work she does taking care of my son. I am happy to fully support them to the fullest extent. A father first of all should provide then worry about himself. If you’ve been waiting for SSI or whatever for three years no wonder ur wife left you. You could’ve been in school or improving yourself somehow i’m sure. Quit ur crying and grow up!!

  25. I am a single mother, from Costa Rica, far far away eh, but love all the comments and storoies i have read. I think thta as long as one does whot you consider right, and healthy for the child, not matter the ups and downs, we say there is no situation that lasts forever. I do believe it turns into hell if you allow it to. Keep struggling, it pays back in the end. And God never forgets.

  26. Hi there, I know the hell you’re going through. When I met my husband he was pretty much in the same situation like you. He got help from a organization that is called Dads and offer free help. He was able to get a lawyer to represent him in court and got custody of his kids and child support order for the mother at no cost. I tyed to look for any office’s in your area but this is what I found :Fathers.org – Organization ContactsFAX (503)222-1111. http://www.dadsusa.com. dads@dadsusa.com. Fee-based attorneyconsultations, attorney referrals, legal pleadings, legal clinic, …http://www.fathers.org/organizations.php – Cached.Don’t give up, your life is ahead of you. Good luck!!!

  27. Hi – I actually found your site b/c I saw headlines about blogs and didn’t know what they were. When I clicked on a link from MSN your story was featured and I started reading some of the entries. I just wanted to tell you that my heart broke for you as I read your story. I’m a mom of a beautiful 4 1/2 month old little boy who is the love and joy of my life. I cannot even begin to imagine the heartache that would come over me if I wasn’t able to see him and hold him everyday. You are very right about the system being partial to mothers, and not always rightfully-so. Yes, the women give birth to the children and have a special bond in that way but they could not have had their child without the father. My husband and I have talked about this many times.. when both parents are equally loving and involved and fit, etc., the mother almost always wins custody and parental rights. My husband is a wonderful father and God forbid if anything ever happened between us, it would be cheating our son Braden to not have him as a part of his life just as much as I am especially since the greatest single influence on a child is their same-sex parent. I applaud you for being willing and actually fighting to be a part of your son’s life. I don’t know your spiritual stance but I pray that the Lord will grant you peace and show you a way to be a fulfilling part of your son’s life again on a more routine and regular basis and that you and your ex can meet a middle ground and not let disagreements between yourselves impact your son’s life negatively. As another person commented earlier, you have to love your son more than hate your ex and she needs to do the same and have your son’s best interest at heart which would def. be to have his father in his life. I will keep you and your son in my prayers and I wish you the best. God bless.

  28. Your not alone, for what ever that comment is worth. My ex took off with our 5 kids. I can’t find them. It would not be so bad if I know they were safe, but he has hurt 2 of them. I live in Utah, our divorce was in Ca Utah said fight it in california, don’t do it here. Despite him beating them with boat ors our daughters head through a fish tank, rubbing our son’s nose in urine because he we the bed. I find it hard to believe there is justice anymore in this world for children.

  29. Hang in there. My sister is a single parent and there was always friction between her and my nieces father. Now as time goes on things are much better and my niece lives in Seattle near her father and she sees him alot more. It’s working out better now even though things looked really bad before. You hang tough and keep lovin’ on your child. It will all work out for the best in the end especially when he realizes how much you love him. As a child that means more then anything knowing that your parents love you.

  30. Hey dudei know how you feel short of being on disability. I was divorced back in 92, i was honest did what was right for my family and still in the end got shafted, custody was granted to the ex. I have married since and now find myself in the same boat 13 years later same exact thing. She cheated and i’m fearful of not gaining custody. She’s not a bad parent but a bad wife. My concern to have my kids is because i have been with them 90% of their lives since they were born. My job is very flexible as far as shifts go, so i had the ability to do that. Things that get me by are music, the time spent with my kids, and surrounding myself with people who are happy. Look for simple peasures, the warmth of a sunny day, the fact that youre breathing, also the fact that what you choose to do now is totally up to you. There is no greater feeling than that of a child who needs, loves , and depends on you for guidance. Just remember do whats right for you and your little family and god will help with the rest.I hope this helpsShaun

  31. I feel your pain so deeply. My husband and I just ended a two year battle to get visitation of his beautiful 6 yr old daughter. He also had to beg to speak to her on the phone, although most times the B**** would just tell him no and hang up. She also moved and didn’t tell him and this was after he won visitation rights in court, so agian he couldn’t see his daughter because he couldn’t find her. Long story short the B**** ended up in court for denying visitation and was told to resume visitation immediatly or go to jail. I hope your future soon looks as bright as ours. It is a hard and long road to get what you deserve please stick with it for your son.

  32. Hey again, tg…I was checking my stats and I saw that I had a bunch of referrals from your space. Then I thought…Oh! It’s Wednesday, maybe they changed the space of the week. And voila! They had!!I hope things are going better for you. I think about you often. And thank you for all your support when I needed it most.Shelly

  33. I just wanted to let you know that you are being very strong for someone in your position. I am a young female in the same position, it is SO hard to fight the system and try and keep your sanity. All I can say is that people can judge but they will never really know. Good luck with all your goals, I know everything will work out for you. The good things come to those who wait. (it just seems like forever).As for the comment made by HEATHER, on 15 june. I can’t beleive that someone has enough ignorance to tell you to get a job. Maybe if she knew your situation she could write rational comments. Its obvious that you were excited to get to the ssi in order to help your sons situation. I think it is very noble of you to do what ever it takes to help him. As for that pretentious b*tch HEATHER, keep your rude mouth shut and have some respect. Self-righteousness won’t get you very far.Sorry that I had to add that comment about that HEATHER girl, who ever she is. It just made me SO mad to see her comment. You deserve all the respect in the world. You are the one who is in the right. And remember that kids grow up and realize the truth. Your son will respect you more each day that he is growing up. He will know that you were doing it all for him. Keep on keeping on! I hope you get to read this.Remember to smile, everyday.

  34. I share your pain… I think that parental equality is an oxymoron in most instances. It just plain doesn’t exist…The courts are not on our side and I doubt they ever will be. I actually used a home equity line of credit to pay off my child support arrearage after paying on the arrearage for the past year and a half. As long as I have been working, I have never not paid child support. The courts don’t care, though. They persecute us that don’t try to elude them and do very little to the actual deadbeats that have no intention of paying support.Just let your son know that you love him… that’s all you can do.

  35. hi im katherin from peru .. sorry mi english is not very good but ,,, solo me parecio algo interesante las fotos… creo q es tu bb el q esta ahi y es muy bello .. y bueno si entiendes esto pues alguien desde muy lejos vio un dia tu espacio.. bendiciones byee

  36. I also understand the frustration and I agree with some of the other comments regarding the relationship between parents. Parents should be able to put their own feelings aside when it comes to the child(ren). What ever happens between two adults has nothing to do with the kids and they should not be punished for it. I have been back and forth with my husband for about 3 years now. We share a 9 year old son and I have a 15 year old daughter who has only seen her father once, his choice. My kids have always lived with me, by their own choice, I never made the decision for them. My husband can’t seem to hold down a job so it has been up to me to support the family. He has been in and out of the home and I have always encouraged a relationship between him and his father. I never talk bad about him either, like I said what happens between us has nothing to do with the kids. My husband is back now and I am trying to give him another chance to get his life together, not just for his sake but for our son’s as well. If it doesn’t work out I hope we will always be friends and always want to do right by our son. I hope you and your ex will find a way to do right by your son.

  37. I was just reading some of your entries, I couldn’t help thinking that things couldn’t get worse for you. The good thing is that things eventually get better. My father always told me, "God won’t gve you anything you can’t handle". Everytime things get rough in my life,, I remember those words. And there is alway’s the infamous, "What won’t kill you will make you stronger". I hope that thinking of some of these sayings will get you through some of your rough days.I also agree, that in divorce, Fathers are not treated as equally as Mothers. My opinion is that children need their Fathers just as much as they need their Mothers. Mothers that try to keep children from their fathers, unless in cases of serious abuse, are only harming their children.

  38. Just wanted to let you know i visited your space today and i find it very compeling. Be strong if not for yourself, but your son. He needs you. If his mother choices to keep you from him wether it be on the phone or in person, it will bite her in her a** in the long run. I know from my own past, coming from a divorced family. Don’t ever place him in the middle of yours and the ex’s problems that will only make more problems. I’m actually going through something similiar now i have to grown step kids and its a struggle with them also. Also, I read about your son calling this ladies ex boyfriend his dad, you should correct him but you also know you correct him in a 6 year old way.I have a 6 year old and i do know how to get to her level, yet she does know how to get to mine. She’s 6 going on 16Take care and I’ll be coming bck to check on you and Logan.Your friend,:) Patty, Patti (:

  39. I feel for you and your son. But the court’s do sometimes favor the dad. My mother has been in a custody fight for 5 years now. For the first 7 years of my little sister’s life her dad did not excercise the rights given to him by the Court. (He only wanted to get her every other weekend. No summer vacation – no holidays). Which was ok – everybody got along very well….to the point that my mom cooked him dinner on his birthday every year….and he came to our family’s house for every holiday….and when he had her for the weekend we would all meet for breakfast on Sunday morning. They both agreed that my little sister was the most important thing.Now in the last 5 years he has done everything in his power to convince the court that he has been denied his rights by my mother. He claims he was never allowed to excercise his summer and holiday visitation.He claims he is disabled – although he has been denied by SSI and workman’s comp. The docter says he can work. But the judge says he doesn’t have to.His child support has been reduced from $350/mth to $105/mth. (He just bought a new house and a new truck – guess the extra money came in handy) He moved 4 hours away and the judge said my mom had to drive halfway to meet him so that his visitation could take place. He constantly claims that my mother is lying or denying him rights – and then my mom has to prove that he is the one lying. She has extensive records of every conversation – every letter – everything that you could think of documenting she has documented – His lawyer said it is all lies and my mom has to prove that it is not. My little sister is 12. Because of everything in the last 5 years she is already saying that she is not going to talk to her dad when she is older. My mom is the type of person you sound like. She does not bad talk my sister’s dad to her – rather she lets her see for herself the type of person he is. Your son will know who had his best interest in mind when he gets older. We all know a court should not be the one to decide what is best for a child.Just wanted to let you know that males aren’t the only ones getting F***ked by the court system in this country. I am watching my mother being slowly driven insane by what these people are trying to do.But you know what….my sister thanks God everyday that she has my mom——-just as your son will when gets older. It is amazing what one loving parent can make up for in this life! Please stay strong and know that there are a lot of us out there that wish we had a Dad that loved us 1/2 as much as you love your son.

  40. I came across your site and have to say I feel for you. There are some exes out there, male or female, who feel that when you are no longer with your kids parent they can do whatever they want to hurt you. But they don’t realize they aren’t just hurting you they’re also hurting their child. Some people out there only put themselves in mind and the person they’re trying to hurt and not who it’s going to effect.

  41. Just wanted to let you know what an eye-opener your blog was for me! I have one precious daughter and have been divorced from her father for several years and I am now remarried. Thank you for the new perspective! May God bless you and I’ll keep praying for you and your son. : )

  42. just stick in there. You can’t give up hope. Don’t pray that you’ll win, pray that God will soften your ex’s heart. That she will see what a big disaster she is causing. Children need a mother and a father, and no one fully understands that, unless they’ve grown up without one or the other. trust me I’ve got the experience to back that statement up. Stay strong, God doesn’t close doors without opening others.

  43. I truly enjoyed your space…It is so real and heartfelt…Your a fantastic father…You and your son are very lucky people to have each other…God Bless..

  44. Tom, I am sooo sorry for the troubles you are havin. You sound like a great person and I am sure there are literally tons of women who would be more than willing to take care of the things your ex seems ta want no part of. I will be praying for you to find a way to have some peace for you and your child. Rachel

  45. It is very sad to hear your story. My situation is a bit different..I have a husband who doesn’t care and I wish he would. I don’t want a divorce because I know that it will be difficult for me and for him. I try to make him see how hard it would be if we were divorced but somehow it doesn’t seem to sink in. I wish he could hear it from someone who is going thru it right now. Perhaps that will change his mind. Good luck to you. Don’t worry about your bad mood, we all seem to have days like that..I have days like that EVERYDAY. wish you the best. Hopeless

  46. I can totally relate to what you are going through. I am in a struggle just to even speak with my kids let alone see them – my ex is truly a woman that redefines selfish. It has been nearly 4 years since I last saw my children – she refuses to let me fly them to me – even though I have moved on with my life and have a wonderful fiance’ and soon to be step son. She thinks I’ll take off with them (which I won’t) – add to this that my lawyer is an idiot and apparently doesn’t know the divorce laws like she said she did. There are days I get depressed to the point of tears, but thank the Lord that I have an incredible woman in my life who helps me to see the light at the end of the tunnel and that (as sarcastic as it sounds) that light isn’t an oncoming train. Keep your chin up sir. It will work out.

  47. I saw your blog featured on msn. I never read a blog but i seen the title on msn Diary of A Divirced Dad. I’m in a similar situation have a 6 year old son who i barely ever saw do to my ex wife. For me it took time patience and persistance. I mean the legal system chewed me up because im a male but i eventually got 50/50 split custody of my son! I justed wanted to say hang in there and the best of luck!

  48. Tom,I was at work when I read your blog. I don’t usually read them but the title pulled me in. I am a divorced mother of 2 boys. My ex and I split everything 50/50. Although last spring he filed claim that I make more money then he. I all of a sudden had to start paying him $500 a mo. I fought it and finally last March it stopped. I am just now crawling out of the hole he put me into. I was behind on everything from my car payment to groceries. I could barely feed my kids. I know we are two totally different situations but I just want to say hold your head high! Walk proud! You will always be a hero in that little mans eyes! Jessica

  49. Your courage in sharing the most vulnerable part of your life will help you with your healing as well as helping others who are struggling with some of the same issues. Every day you are moving closer towarc a happier and more fulfilling life, even when you have bad days.I recently attended the Millionaire Mind training and it served as a catapult into the arena of all the possibilities of life that I had almost given up on because of my own personal challenges. I would be happy to send you a free copy of the book, which includes this training free.I would even pay for your transportation to the event so that you might accelerate your transition into a better quality of life for you & your son. If you are committed to changing your life, please email me.If not, you are in my prayers for all good things to come your way.Wishing you all the best,Kim

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