I can not believe the day I had! First, I had to walk about 3.5 miles today. One mile to the bus stop and when I got off the bus at the ssi office they moved. I had to walk around while to find the new office. I am glad it was only about another mile down the road. The other miles were on the return trip home. I feel like I was hit by a truck!. My knees are are so swollen they like softballs & so stiff I can barely bend them.
I did get help w/ the money needed for rent to avoid eviction. ($800) I asked for the paperwork for my Son’s claim & to my surprise my ex has to file for him because she has custody of him. Asls the guy told me that most likley the WILL intercept my disability payment Ive been waiting for. So I guess my ex will get 4 years of my money and 4 years of my Son’s money & I’ll just have to live on the street. The whole thing is so complicated no one can answer the questions I have. Sell end up with 5x more than I owe her and Ill have to try to get back HaHaHa.
Its just not fair I have been honest from day one. The court does not care about fathers. I have tried every thing to get them to accept my evidence but because I don’t have the legal talents of the deputy attorney general. Who’s service is free of charge to my ex.
I must now think of what iam going to do. everything I ve planned w/ my Son is now destroyed. Every ounce of patients and passivity has been thoroughly sucked out of me by the whole depressingg situation . I wish that fix things to reflect the truth. Maybe its beyond my ability.
I hate having so many thing streaming through my head. I can never seperate things out to work on as a whole. Usually nothing gets worked out when this the case. I just feel like Im comming up to a dead end and dont know which way to turn.
Oh yeah, they will have presidence over my Lawyer’s 25% fee so if if the court takes all of what i am to get, get this, I"LL HAVE TO PAY MY LAWYER OUT OF MY OWN POCKET!!!
My ex deserves my Son’s share , but not a penny more!!! If he was not e;igible for this money i’d gladly give up mine to pay for my Son.
Ive tried to read the laws babout this all but they are so contradictory and confusing I cant see how amy one can understand whats legal and whats not.
this is from social security website, see for yourself:
*** marks points of interest
**Section 207 of the Social Security Act (42 U.S.C. 407) protects Social Security benefits from assignment, levy, or garnishment. However, the law provides five exceptions:
**Section 459 of the Act (42 U.S.C. 659) allows Social Security benefits to be garnished to enforce child support and/or alimony obligations;
Section 6334 (c) of the Internal Revenue Code (26 U.S.C. 6334 (c)) allows benefits to be garnished to collect unpaid Federal taxes;
Section 3402 (P) of the Internal Revenue Code allows beneficiaries to elect to have a percentage of their benefits withheld and paid to the Internal Revenue Service to satisfy their Federal income tax liability for the current year;
The Debt Collection Act of 1996 (Public Law 104-134) allows benefits to be withheld and paid to another Federal agency to pay a non-tax debt the beneficiary owes to that agency: and
The Tax Payer Relief Act of 1997 (Public Law 105-34) authorizes the Internal Revenue Service to collect overdue federal tax debts of beneficiaries by levying up to 15 percent of each monthly payment until the debt is paid.
**The Social Security Administration’s responsibility for protecting benefits against legal process and assignment usually ends when the beneficiary is paid. However, once paid, benefits continue to be protected under section 207 of the Act only as long as they are identifiable as Social Security benefits. This applies to money in a bank account where the only payments into the account are from direct deposit of Social Security benefits.
***NOTE: Supplemental Security Income payments cannot be levied or garnished.
Or this from delawares support enforcement website:
§ 506. Failure to support for just cause.
No person shall be required to support another while there is just cause for failing or refusing to do so. (59 Del. Laws, c. 567, § 1; 70 Del. Laws, c. 186, § 1.)
This one gets me. It sound simple but it probubly won’t help me either. If I try to use this one they’ll just erase it off the book. Its easier to do this than to actually fix they horrible broken system. Social security, three doctors & I have all said that I am disabled & have not been able to work since 8/01. To the state of delaware, this is not "just cause".
I don’t like writing when Im angry but I just have to let out before it builds up . Unfortunatly it will prob last for a few days!! I am sorry its so not me!
…A very angry tom g/logansdaddy
18 Replies to “360 Degrees”
I guess I could look in your blog and find out what your disability is, but I’m too lazy to wade through it. Is your ex trustworthy enough to spend what she needs of your money to support your child and save the rest for his education? And, regarding your disability, my boyfriend had a disability before he met me, now he works full time because I told him he needed to WORK. I found it amazing that he never worked for years because of his "back injury"(surgery, constant pain, painkiller addiction…) but now he works like a dog, 50-60 hours a week delivering and setting up a/v and computer equipment. When I met him, we had to hire people to move his things because he couldn’t lift things to move them, now he lifts 50 inch plasma screen tvs like it is nothing. Heck, he has lifted ME and I’m not a small girl. Sometimes you just need to get out and do what you have to do….I’m just curious, because I have f riends on disability and some of them could get out and work if they would just try…please don’t be offended
Hi again. I skimmed through all your posts from this year to find out what your disability was but I guess I missed it. What I have learned is: You are one heck of a dad to your son. I think it is a darn shame that you had the misfortune to have a child with such a selfish woman. I’m sure with your influence, your son will turn out fine. You seem like a really good person, who is trying REALLY HARD to do the RIGHT THING. For that, I applaud you. It about broke my heart to read about your son talking about his "dad" making him pancakes that was not you. I’m sorry that happened to you, but I guess it is good that he has someone in his life that will make him pancakes and not view him as a nuisance. Good luck with everything. And do try to find something you could do for work, you are too young to give up….productivity makes the person healthier, and also those around him
I am so sorry to hear all of that. If you dont mind my asking, what is your disability. You sound as if you want to work, but are truly unable to do so. I wish there was something I could do to help you, or at least knew someone who could. By no means do I pitty you, I would not want that from anyone so I try to keep myself from doing it. But I do feel for you. I have said and I will continue to say that you seem like an amazing father. You have so many obsticals to over come just to see your son. You only get to see him every other weekend for a few hours. Yet, you continue to do everything in your power to see him every chance you get. It seems to me that most men in your position would have just given up by now. I give you so much credit for that.I the time that I have been reading your entries I have seen you happy, excited, frusterated and even angry. I have yet to see you feeling sorry for your self and wallowing in your self pitty though. Again, something that I have to give you credit for. I would not be as strong as you seem to be in the same situation. I wish you the best of luck with all of this. If you get evicted will you have some where to go? I know that I dont actually "know" you. But I guess I feel like I know you and Im worried about that.
quit whining. you’re lucky to know your kid at all, despite all the problems with your ex-wife. your blog entries make it pretty clear that you love your child, but it’s also obvious that you are aware that people who know you are reading it. hence, you write drivel to make yourself sound sympathetic, but the truth is always somewhere between the lines.if you’re disabled and strapped for cash, don’t blog about buying useless junk at walmart like "grand theft auto." don’t write about pulling engines and walking 3 miles from the bus stop. it doesn’t make you sound very disabled. (if your diability isn’t physical, then maybe you don’t need to have custody of a kid.) instead of buying your kid shoes when he visits, send a money order to your wife through the child support office. they’ll document it and you’ll get credit for doing something for your kid. if you want more time with your child, stop advertising that everyone you know is turning up dead and that cops are busting into your house. no judge in any state is going to look favorably on that.you need to quit trying to drum up sympathy for yourself and get wise about this situation if you want more time or custody of your kid. and you need to realize that what your kid wants is irrelevent in most cases because he’s a child, and children tend to say what pleases the adults. i’m sure he does like his time with you, but he has no idea what living with you implies because he’s a child.don’t worry about what your kid calls you or any boyfriend of his mother’s. he needs a father figure to relate to, and if that has to be a boyfriend or grandfather instead of you, let him have it. it’s just a name. don’t be selfish and don’t take it personally, because he will come to his own understanding of these relationships.and please stop acting like the police would automatically jail you if your wife called in a false report. they deal with that sort of thing every day and do a very good job of sorting it out. women are cited every day for filing false reports of this kind, and you don’t sound like a big scaredy cat to me.loving your kids and being good for them are totally different. not that you aren’t good for your kid, or that your wife is. i’m just saying that people don’t *really* put the best interests of the child ahead of their own hurt, pride, and needs. your kid will grow into a man who remembers that his dad didn’t work (save your excuses about the doctors) and his mom had security/love/relationship issues (speculating from your posts). good job./single mom./believes father’s rights is a back-lash from the women’s rights movement/agrees that there are cats who are better than some some mothersgood luck. try spell checking.
i’ll respond to you here, since you may not come back to my site.first, i’m guessing your disability might be blindness. your sister is legally blind, right? doesn’t matter. my profile says my occupation is CUBE monkey, not CLUB. it means i work in an office with cubicles. white collar.negative though it was, i hope some of what i said will help you. we will definitely agree to disagree, but maybe i can help you by providing a different perspective. also, you’re settling for a certain way of life that’s beneath you. please don’t do that.you can delete my comments to keep your site tidy. i won’t mind. 🙂 good luck.
wow… firecat, you’re ignorant. this guy is really just trying his hardest to be a good dad, and he did not in anyway ask for you to bash him. what you wrote hopefully will make no difference at all to him, because hopefully he has enough people in his life who support him. you’re not nice, and so to make it seem like you’re trying to "help" is just plain wrong. seriously if you have nothing NICE to say, just pass a blog by. sorry about that, logan’s dad, i just had to get that off my chest. and i am here to try to help, although what i have to say probably won’t make you feel too much better. i took 2 law courses in college, which by no means makes me a lawyer, and hopefully there is some loop hole that i don’t know about that will work for you, but this is what i DO know. the best and easiest way for you to settle this is with a mediator (court appointed) and out of court. you will need your lawyer still, and your ex will still have hers, but you won’t be in front of a judge and you will hopefully be able to settle on something in the middle. the only problem with this is that you have to get your wife to agree to it. and from what i understand that might be pretty hard to do. you should definitely be talking to your lawyer about all of this, and if you don’t feel like you’re getting good advice from him/her, i hope that there’s a way to get a new lawyer who you feel like is actually helping you. i hope that you come through this and you don’t lose faith along the way. just remember that God is watching and will never let you fall. He never gives you more than you can handle. please, despite of the negitive responses you get from people on here, keep us posted. I’ll be praying for you.
ALl the laws are confusing to me but it all sounds like horse pooey. My husband has a son who is 11 this year, and he didn’t even know he did until he was 5 or 6, that was when she got a divorce and her ex wanted a dna test on the eldest (says alot about her character) well turned out it wasn’t his, so she went after my husband, court ordered a dna test and BAM instant father because of it. Now don’t get me wrong, he’s a great kid and I hold no ill toward him, it wasn’t his fault. She though actually works for the child support agency in Utah!! But it is illegal for her to look up her case. She is constantly wanting to know why we move, how much money does he make, yada yada. It’s insane, I hate it. We have a family together, two kids, one on the way, she had a few "good times" with him, and well it’s a long story. But all three of her children have different fathers, I really don’t know what to think of the situation…
Hi Tom,I just wanted to drop you a note and let you know you are not alone. My son’s mother walked out on me only two months after he was born in 2000. Since that time, I have continually had to defend myself in the face of unsympathetic laws, corrupt attorneys, and a complete lack of public resource for single fathers.I have fought off false allegations, paid oblivious lawyers, filed complaints with the state bar, and have even managed to get a California judge to order Child Support Services to STOP garnishing my wages, because their accounting system was so fouled, they were using it to justify interest amounts on payments they were failing to process in a timely manner.I am still battling Child Support in their iron-handed methods of collection. Meanwhile, they report my payments as being late to the credit bureaus when they fail to process garnishments they are not even allowed to make any more by judges order!But can I find any one to enforce those orders? Can I find anyone who will force CSS to follow the law when there is no money involved for the lawyer? And I can’t tell you how difficult it is to try to find a mortgage when the lenders count both your parental status AND child support obligation against your debt-to-income ratio… and needless to say, having false payment information on your credit report does not help either.I have managed to be successful maintaining an ever increasing-role in my sons life. Though I now get him for up to 2-3 days at a time now, I also had to cope with the four-hour visits at one time. I have even managed to secure a court order that prevents his mother from moving away, and have even successfully argued against child support when I was providing my ex with more money than had been ordered! So there is light at the nd of the tunnel. You just have to keep going.But it is an incredibly tedious and demoralizing journey. One that would be very difficult to persevere through without the rewards that being a father brings. I can definitely relate to your pains of being denied visitation and the inability of the system to recognize your plight. It still amazes me how CSS can make it even more difficult to support your child by taking away your drivers license. In California, it is virtually impossible to earn a living without a vehicle. And given that the median home price around here is about a half million dollars. A single percentage point jump in your credit worthiness can make a home completely unaffordable. More often than not it does seem that CSS is only interested in collecting their money, and not protecting the child. They obviously do not care how their bureaucratic processes impacts your financial viability as a provider.I wish you the best of luck Tom, and to want to assure you… your child will remember you and thank you for all you have done.Good Luck Tom!Keith JakobsA fellow opressed email@example.com
I wish I could say something encouraging, but as a father who’s been on the streets since March 31, 2003, I know there’s no fairness for fathers and no reason for hope. I’ve written plenty about it myself, and that’s changed nothing, not for me, not for anybody. All the applause I’ve gotten hasn’t done a thing.I keep asking myself why I even bother. I have no answers, to be honest. I think I must be crazy that I do.
firecat94 you are nothing more than a bitter, probably divorced single mother who wont have a chance in hell with a nice man because your bitterness makes you miserable. Go easy on the guy, we all have our own issues, look in the mirror.
im writting to gripe about the laws in this country , single fathers dont have a goddam right my x-wife left 3 years ago and didnt take our kids 2 boys she ran off with 1 of my x-friends she got free lawyers i had to pay plus support my kids it was a living hell they treated her better than me and shes the 1 that left … go figure . but she has to pay me 28 dollars aweek 4 2 teenagers …..i wonder if i would have to pay more ? i think we all know the answer …. but i love my 2 boys and that is all that matters ……..thanks 4 listen TIM
Hey there… we are suffering from the same thing with my husband and social security 🙁 There is a federal law they have to abide by…. i should look at your blog to figure out where yuo live because the law like i said is federal and here it is section 210 of the family court act.. they can not take more than 25.00 a month when you are below the poverty ine and let me tell ou social security certainly doesnt make you rich. As far as our bulk payment they can not take more than 15% 🙂 You should contact legal aide in your area also.. there are free attornies for disability claims.Melissa
I have read your story concerning your child and you. Having to have litigation and custody issued with an ex is very difficult. I am a divorced father of two as well. I can relate to your story as if it was mine at one point in my life. My advice to you would be to keep moving forward in life. I understand at times, that can be difficult, but it remains very important. The courts, lawyers, judges, and evaulators are all about money. Father’s rights in this country are changing for better equality. You must keep pushing forward and feel rewarded to spend the time you have with your child. Things could be worse. I do not know your custodial arrangements but I do know that the time you have should be cherished and not forgotten. Keep fighting for what you believe in, that is what your child will remember. But remember to push down the road takes dedication and unconditional love for your child. Best regards,
I am so sorry to hear of your troubles with SSI. Yes, our system is terribly broken. I am also sorry that those deadbeat dads out there have ruined a decent father’s chances of a real life. If you need help sorting through the SSI system and the rules, let me know. When it comes to child support, every state has different rules. For example, the state of Oregon has a law that says all fathers shall pay no less than $50 per month, depending on their income. In other words, they have to pay this $50 per month even if they are not working. However, there are exceptions to this rule; if the father is in prison, the Child Support Enforcement Agency will not collect from them and refuses to go after them for support. So, maybe you should get the whole scoop about Deleware’s child support laws and then go into the SSI laws. If you have been disabled and unable to work since 2001, the state should be willing to reduce the amount that you owe. If your SSI benefits have already been garnished to cover any back payments and it is determined you didn’t actually owe them, they should either force your ex to pay them back or make it so you don’t have to pay anything for however many months you overpaid. Does that make sense? I know the judicial system can be obnoxious and frustrating, but you just have to keep trying. Good luck!
Dear Dad:If you are disabled then you have an option to go to your State Rehabilitation service and get an interview that will assess you for skills and take into consideration your disability, and you may qualify for an opportunity to re-educate for a new ability profession.Many people have limitations that take away prior professions, and this is one way to re-educate and re-enter the work force if this is your desire. These plans do take into consideration your living, child support services and fiscal needs. Often you qualify for a stipend that also covers the fees for your vocation, educational and professional costs. They also have resume, and interview skills trainings.Take care and continue to enjoy your children.
wow….. i am on the other side of all this… i am a mom of 3 kids of 2 diff dads who are suppoed to pay child support. 1 does the other doesnt. the one who doesnt is the father of my 10 and 7 yr old daughters and also has absoutly nothing to do with them. my 4 yr olds father is a great father but pays only when he wants to. you sound like you love your son with all your heart and soul and would do anything for him. money has nothing to do with love but some women dont see it that way. i would never keep my kids from their fathers just because they dont pay. all it does it hurts the child. best thing you can do is contact the legal aide system in your state because i am sure you are eligable since it goes by your income and get everything straitned out from visitation to child support once and for all. and as for him calling someone else daddy i would tell your ex how you fell about that and how you dont want your son calling him that. your his daddy not the other guy.
Tom, keep your head up. All of this drama that you are going through will ease up sooner than you may even dream of. You are a good father to your son. Remember, he is only 6 and his thoughts can get flustered when he is away from you for two weeks and only sees your ex’s boyfriend on a daily basis.My boyfriends’ 4 year old son does the same thing to me. He will be with his mom for 2-3 days and come home and call me mama. I don’t mind it, but it is confusing. And yes, it does hurt too because he is not mine. I love him like he is, but the truth is he has a mom. Is she the best mom, in my opinion, no, but thats my opinion.Everything is going to work out, you will see. Jeremiah 32:37 says "Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh, IS THERE ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR ME?"
Tom, YES IAM A MOTHER OF TWO, AND IAM TRUELY WITH YOU, OUR SYSTEM IS ONLY ONE SIDED, ALL THE WAY FOR THE WOMEN!!! WE NEED TO MAKE THINGS FAIR TO OUR CHILDREN, PARENTS NEED TO BE EQUAL TOO, ALL THE WAY TO HAVE STRONGER CHILDREN…